My seduction email to Trio aka robert D
::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::©Pengun.Ink:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
After not seeing or talking to a friend I felt really knew me the one
I called my brother (who would tell you he's not and I'm insain and
want to suck his cock and he wants nothing to do with me) the one at
CUmentalhealthhold I told was the only person alowed to receive my
files or they could call if I needed to be recesited or needed a blood
transfusion because I hoped he would let me die knowing I'm already
dead.....I hadn't seen him scince I was 14 the first time I saw him
again at 17 the end of my senior year at columbine on the way home
from sucking his cock after he made it obvious he was just using me
for a bow job but felt bad because I still seemed inocent even though
I was a DDW (dirty dirty whore thats what the crew called our friend
Rachel who's dead ) Back before I felt all these problems with my
throat shakera this noose around my neck I truely felt tantricly
enlighteded and elated after having a cock that deep in my throat and
feeling its entensity explode inside me .....Its not that I wanted his
cock I just wanted to see him again and didn't give a fuck what we
where doing.....On the way home he played for me Corporate avenger
(not this song) this album I think Freedom Is A State Of
Mind.......the day I went into the hospital from the time my computer
froze to a couple hours before I reached the second floor I got really
into texting people picture mail wheather or not they could see the
picture 10 recipients at a time....Him and an aquantence of an
aquantance 2 people thought they we're special that I was some how
harasing and obsessed with just them...that I wanted to suck their
cock (at this point I would gag and puke I'm not m17 any more) My
friends I've had who are my peers I've known for years loved my texts
although one of my gfs was convinced I was crazy and didn't respond
for a while although she always loved and loves that I'm
crazy.....There are people in life I love being with who get my humor
and even if they don't understand me compleatly they try too and we
accept eachother....Some people run some people embrace in elation,
some people love only the memory of another time, some are stuck on
your future or memory or who they dreamed you would be....I accept
what ever love or hate receeding tide or sunami and everything
inbetween a whirl pool and a breeze in hope that some how all these
peices of nature will some day do the same for me when we are mearly
the breath of the earth and a cloud in the sky.....I do not write
because I want to force you into doing something for me....I write for
the pleasure of writing to some one I know has the copasity to
understand what I say in hope that if for some reason RAD doesn't he
will ask me specific questions if he ever feels it is right and he
can. When my father first told me at 4yrs old "If u where a boy I was
going to name u anthony" I thought of the most ugly adult I would ever
know (I didn't know any anthonys) I thought the name was gross based
off how it imediately sounded to me...When I finaly did meet some
anthonys or middle named anthonys I found "hey it would be kinda cool
to be an anthony"
I'm a Idealist
I assure u I only want U feel is best for U
Although because I like you a horific amount It is hard for me not to
want to write you 10 times a day ...all that texting and the emails
and live journaling I did @ CU was just spam I was laughing at and
didn't care if any one responded.....U on the other hand I would die
living for eternity just to see your breath on me as a unlit cigarette
in november out side in the snow only to fall in the ICey land and be
left soggy and forgotten becoming the earth being consumed by frozen
water & the melting sun....
I Hope some day I can look in your eyes again and say "we Know" and
laugh.....I will not lie I want to walk with u forever...however just
knowing u for the time I have is enough if u feel u may not be able to
laugh with me again....what ever u want or don't want of me I will
accept....But I've never in the time I can remember wished for my
Ideal knowing what it was and found it the ssame week in U
13. Heaven's Joke
Crazy I
Talk to the sky
For this is heaven's joke
Water flows
The mountain knows
For she is old and wise
Crazy me
Talks to the trees
This hole it is my home
Circles end
Where I begin
For everything is whole
It's easy to kill me
Cuz I'm like the water
Sunshine
Is mine
And your time
Is over
Silent I
Lie in her side
Her beauty makes me choke
And down below the fire grows
And so we are alive
She die in me
So I can see
A world I've never known
Then again so far within
I'd rather be alone.
It's easy to kill me
Cuz I'm like the water
Sunshine
Is mine
And your time
Is over
Arrows fly through frozen sky
Their fire leads me home
Vessel shines for life is light
This universe was mine
Now begins where before ends
So this robe has it's time
Circles end where I begin
For everything is whole
It's easy to kill me
Cuz I'm like the water
Sunshine
Is mine
And your time
Is over
If U ever write back I'd perfur if u wrote to this email
love&laughter
Jess marie cecilia Padilla (pengun's ashes)
::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::©Pengun.Ink:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
After not seeing or talking to a friend I felt really knew me the one
I called my brother (who would tell you he's not and I'm insain and
want to suck his cock and he wants nothing to do with me) the one at
CUmentalhealthhold I told was the only person alowed to receive my
files or they could call if I needed to be recesited or needed a blood
transfusion because I hoped he would let me die knowing I'm already
dead.....I hadn't seen him scince I was 14 the first time I saw him
again at 17 the end of my senior year at columbine on the way home
from sucking his cock after he made it obvious he was just using me
for a bow job but felt bad because I still seemed inocent even though
I was a DDW (dirty dirty whore thats what the crew called our friend
Rachel who's dead ) Back before I felt all these problems with my
throat shakera this noose around my neck I truely felt tantricly
enlighteded and elated after having a cock that deep in my throat and
feeling its entensity explode inside me .....Its not that I wanted his
cock I just wanted to see him again and didn't give a fuck what we
where doing.....On the way home he played for me Corporate avenger
(not this song) this album I think Freedom Is A State Of
Mind.......the day I went into the hospital from the time my computer
froze to a couple hours before I reached the second floor I got really
into texting people picture mail wheather or not they could see the
picture 10 recipients at a time....Him and an aquantence of an
aquantance 2 people thought they we're special that I was some how
harasing and obsessed with just them...that I wanted to suck their
cock (at this point I would gag and puke I'm not m17 any more) My
friends I've had who are my peers I've known for years loved my texts
although one of my gfs was convinced I was crazy and didn't respond
for a while although she always loved and loves that I'm
crazy.....There are people in life I love being with who get my humor
and even if they don't understand me compleatly they try too and we
accept eachother....Some people run some people embrace in elation,
some people love only the memory of another time, some are stuck on
your future or memory or who they dreamed you would be....I accept
what ever love or hate receeding tide or sunami and everything
inbetween a whirl pool and a breeze in hope that some how all these
peices of nature will some day do the same for me when we are mearly
the breath of the earth and a cloud in the sky.....I do not write
because I want to force you into doing something for me....I write for
the pleasure of writing to some one I know has the copasity to
understand what I say in hope that if for some reason RAD doesn't he
will ask me specific questions if he ever feels it is right and he
can. When my father first told me at 4yrs old "If u where a boy I was
going to name u anthony" I thought of the most ugly adult I would ever
know (I didn't know any anthonys) I thought the name was gross based
off how it imediately sounded to me...When I finaly did meet some
anthonys or middle named anthonys I found "hey it would be kinda cool
to be an anthony"
I'm a Idealist
I assure u I only want U feel is best for U
Although because I like you a horific amount It is hard for me not to
want to write you 10 times a day ...all that texting and the emails
and live journaling I did @ CU was just spam I was laughing at and
didn't care if any one responded.....U on the other hand I would die
living for eternity just to see your breath on me as a unlit cigarette
in november out side in the snow only to fall in the ICey land and be
left soggy and forgotten becoming the earth being consumed by frozen
water & the melting sun....
I Hope some day I can look in your eyes again and say "we Know" and
laugh.....I will not lie I want to walk with u forever...however just
knowing u for the time I have is enough if u feel u may not be able to
laugh with me again....what ever u want or don't want of me I will
accept....But I've never in the time I can remember wished for my
Ideal knowing what it was and found it the ssame week in U
13. Heaven's Joke
Crazy I
Talk to the sky
For this is heaven's joke
Water flows
The mountain knows
For she is old and wise
Crazy me
Talks to the trees
This hole it is my home
Circles end
Where I begin
For everything is whole
It's easy to kill me
Cuz I'm like the water
Sunshine
Is mine
And your time
Is over
Silent I
Lie in her side
Her beauty makes me choke
And down below the fire grows
And so we are alive
She die in me
So I can see
A world I've never known
Then again so far within
I'd rather be alone.
It's easy to kill me
Cuz I'm like the water
Sunshine
Is mine
And your time
Is over
Arrows fly through frozen sky
Their fire leads me home
Vessel shines for life is light
This universe was mine
Now begins where before ends
So this robe has it's time
Circles end where I begin
For everything is whole
It's easy to kill me
Cuz I'm like the water
Sunshine
Is mine
And your time
Is over
If U ever write back I'd perfur if u wrote to this email
love&laughter
Jess marie cecilia Padilla (pengun's ashes)