pelirojo

Instead of a bouncy castle for my birthday, I'd like to have the forty foot inflatable pink floyd pig in my backyard, and a projection of The Wall on the apartment building behind me at night. I'd also like to burn/write "FUCK YOU" with gasoline into my neighbor's grass across the the street, and possibly take a shit on the lawn too. My bad? ha...
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Today, i guess technically, it was consired this evening, that I seriously thought about turning off my phone, computer, lights, anything but the stereo playing joy division exceptional loud, and over, and over. Until? I took some meds and a feel pretty much better. My meds can be very tricky at times with the dose taken and effect of the drug. You'd think they'd have...
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I'm willing to try and take all my psych meds like im supposed to, not drink to excess, and most importantly stay off illegal drugs. My problem is that if or when i do feel like i should be hospitalized, one of the first things they do is do a drug test. If test positive, can not stay atthe mental health hospital. You must do...
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I did in honor of today's date celebrate and consume half of one of my very potent caramels. I do feel very good, fairly upbeat, aware, and calmer than I've been in a while. Not too excess, enough to take off edge, and less than to loose touch with reality. I think especially with the new Proposition 29 created by do-gooders and ex-smokers bound to...
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From my limited experience, friends with benefits can be an even more meaningful relationship than the traditional girlfriend/boyfriend or commited relationship. I had a great and belief changing experience with a past friend/love. She called it two friends enjoying each other's bodies. It was mutually supportive and exciting, especially since her boyfriend and all of us lived in the same house. What's strange is even...
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The worst part of paranoia is that sometimes you're right. Whenever major holidays draw near, I'm very grateful for my family and friends. I wish I comunnicated and saw my friends more often than I do. All most all my friends live 45 minutes or a lot more away from me, or live in other states or countries now. It's not that I wouldn't drive,...
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I may not be geared up or at the right mental state to fully function in our soceity. But I do still know what is important to me as a human being. Humility, empathy, sympathy, forgiveness, doing my best to be openminded, and most important keeping a sense of humor. Life may not be fair or turn out how we'd like. Appreciating my family and...
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I feel much better after a half brownie and a six pack of new castle brown ale. We'll see how it goes.

I feel much bettter after a half brownie and a sixpack of new castle and couple of shots of some orange flavored tequila. I did take a few benzos but orally not interveinously like last time. Still the crazy young at heart experience, but heart more easily physically. Its not really a contest at whose the most hip or whose the more stylish. Its just...
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I knew I had something mentally asque with me early on in life. I had to wait for soceity to label me mentally ill until after I was an alcoholic and drug addict and kicked for 30 or 90 days, I forget. At first I was kind of glad there was a name to it and a little proud to be different. There are so...
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The white plastic shopping bags are known as "urban tumbleweeds."

The black plastic bags from the liquor store are "ghetto tumbleweeds."

Fucking car is going to cost 1,400 plus tax to fix. My social security disabilty retro check money is quickly dwindling. I just have to start scetching tattoo ideas and get my wrist touched up or redone. NO one will be happy about more tattoos except me. Illegal, prescription, non-prescription drugs don't work very well, and I really don't think going to church or praying...
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