i went on a date last night. i never go on dates. it was a little strange, but i had a good time. the guy i went out with is from my hometown, which is totally weird. one huge reason i moved to chicago was to get away from this sort of thing. though ther is a level of comfort to it. we know some of the same people (including my ex-boyfriend. he heard the ex is now gay, which i do NOT find suprising) and we went to the same high school, though he had graduated before i got there. we are pretty different--he drives an SUV, i constantly talk shit about them. he loves to spend money, i am pretty against general consumerism. he wears designer jeans, i feel guilty buying clothes that cost more than 20 bucks. are those reasons to not date someone? why do you date people? i guess i just dont really "date", the idea of it is pretty foreign and i dont even like the word. speaking of relationships, this is totally weird: this girl that i was friends with in high school just called off her wedding that was planned for the end of march. she had been sending out mass emails about it for a few months. i havent really talked to her in almost a year and she invited me. but the strangest part about it is that she is super super religious, southern baptist. she and her fiancee had been courting. seriously. courting. and the reason they called off the wedding was because they did not think that god had really "approved" of their courtship. what the fuck? i am pretty relationship retarded. and to be truly honest i cant stop thinking about this guy that i hooked up with last weekend. it was just so fucking hot. and i dont know what to do with myself.
i have to be out of my apartment by april 1. both of my roommates are moving back to our hometown. so far away. i have no idea where i want to live. i have no job and no real connections. i am swimming in a vat of uncertainty. i cannot tell you for how long everyone has said to me "you are just in a transition period". what the fuck does that mean? isnt life just a series of transitions?
i have to be out of my apartment by april 1. both of my roommates are moving back to our hometown. so far away. i have no idea where i want to live. i have no job and no real connections. i am swimming in a vat of uncertainty. i cannot tell you for how long everyone has said to me "you are just in a transition period". what the fuck does that mean? isnt life just a series of transitions?
my book recommendation is a book called The Botany of Desire: A Plant's-Eye View of the World by Michael Pollan...
i will check out On Love for sure, thanks! now you got me hungry for a burrito too, i'm gonna go get one!
i just say hang out and see what happens instead of 'date'...no expectations...if things are meant to happen they happen.
life is definitely a series of transitions, but then something comes along and falls right in your lap and it changes everything...trust your gut feelings!
hope all is well, take care!
bests to you