For the next couple days I am going to present a five part essay entitled "Indiana Sucks: A retrospective." In it I will gloss over how Indiana has nothing to do and hope that in other states things are much better. Here is part one.
Indiana has nothing to do.
Scoff if you will fellow Hoosiers. Indiana is a shitty state. Quick non Hoosiers name a city in Indiana that isn't Indianapolis? Time is up. My point exactly.
Indiana is predominatly rural. So that means there is predominantly nothing to do. We got the usual rural activities like shooting stop signs. Yes that happens here. Having sex with your cousin, yes that happens too, drinking, and doing drugs. Which is about all there is to do.
There are no clubs outside Indianapolis. But one thing Indiana does got in it's small towns is bars. Many small towns, such as this one there are more bars on one block than gas stations or churches. I've counted three on one city block alone and one accross the street. Say what you will about the slums and poor areas in big cities. It pales in comparision to small town Indiana.
So that's what there is to do here, drink, screw, drugs. It's no suprise that before the end of my freshman year in high school half the class was pregnant.
Crusing
Yes the stupid right of passage that every Indiana kid does. Emphasis on kid. Cruising is still fairly popular much more so that people actually come to this city from other cities to cruise! It's almost laughable that the police try to put up barricades in the middle of the road in the street to try to stop the cruisers and they just drive around.
But wait you say there is lots to do in Indiana? You mean things like hanging out , having fun, and just having a good time? No. You can't have a good time in Indiana. If you mean sitting in your basement and doing nothing well than that still is nothing to do. I'm talking about actively getting out and doing stuff. What cruising is stuff you say? Not if you don't get away from that small town it isn't. But it's your home you grew up there all your friends are there you say? Too bad faqwhad you live in a shitty town.
Places to eat, shopping, and other points of interest.
Non existant I say. Fast food isn't food and there is an over abundence of them in small town Indiana. Like churches, gas stations and bars, there's a dozen of them every other block. Shopping you say? Nope, walmart isn't exactly fine shopping, nor is the toy ailse in the local super market.
Movies
Ah yes movies another thing we got an over abundence of is small town local video stores that never have indipendent films, foreign films, or great b movies. A theater you say? Yes we got a theater in small town Indiana. It plays two movies and smells funny and the movies are always a week late in comming, and they stay a week too long after the movie has long left the last theaters in the big cities.
In conclusion Indiana has no decent movies to go see, no good places to eat, no good places to shop, no where to cruise, and everywhere to drink, whore it up, and get religion.
But you still have doubts? Well are you sure you're not thinking of Indianapolis?
Indiana has nothing to do.
Scoff if you will fellow Hoosiers. Indiana is a shitty state. Quick non Hoosiers name a city in Indiana that isn't Indianapolis? Time is up. My point exactly.
Indiana is predominatly rural. So that means there is predominantly nothing to do. We got the usual rural activities like shooting stop signs. Yes that happens here. Having sex with your cousin, yes that happens too, drinking, and doing drugs. Which is about all there is to do.
There are no clubs outside Indianapolis. But one thing Indiana does got in it's small towns is bars. Many small towns, such as this one there are more bars on one block than gas stations or churches. I've counted three on one city block alone and one accross the street. Say what you will about the slums and poor areas in big cities. It pales in comparision to small town Indiana.
So that's what there is to do here, drink, screw, drugs. It's no suprise that before the end of my freshman year in high school half the class was pregnant.
Crusing
Yes the stupid right of passage that every Indiana kid does. Emphasis on kid. Cruising is still fairly popular much more so that people actually come to this city from other cities to cruise! It's almost laughable that the police try to put up barricades in the middle of the road in the street to try to stop the cruisers and they just drive around.
But wait you say there is lots to do in Indiana? You mean things like hanging out , having fun, and just having a good time? No. You can't have a good time in Indiana. If you mean sitting in your basement and doing nothing well than that still is nothing to do. I'm talking about actively getting out and doing stuff. What cruising is stuff you say? Not if you don't get away from that small town it isn't. But it's your home you grew up there all your friends are there you say? Too bad faqwhad you live in a shitty town.
Places to eat, shopping, and other points of interest.
Non existant I say. Fast food isn't food and there is an over abundence of them in small town Indiana. Like churches, gas stations and bars, there's a dozen of them every other block. Shopping you say? Nope, walmart isn't exactly fine shopping, nor is the toy ailse in the local super market.
Movies
Ah yes movies another thing we got an over abundence of is small town local video stores that never have indipendent films, foreign films, or great b movies. A theater you say? Yes we got a theater in small town Indiana. It plays two movies and smells funny and the movies are always a week late in comming, and they stay a week too long after the movie has long left the last theaters in the big cities.
In conclusion Indiana has no decent movies to go see, no good places to eat, no good places to shop, no where to cruise, and everywhere to drink, whore it up, and get religion.
But you still have doubts? Well are you sure you're not thinking of Indianapolis?
VIEW 7 of 7 COMMENTS
koleeta:
I don't have the time to read this...do you have the cliffs notes?
lunna:
haha. oh ok.
