I love the way things work out sometimes.
I'm a big proponent of taking a break, a couple weeks off, each year to realign the brain and soul and what-not. I'm just coming to the end of mine now, which means the regular schedule of constant teaching and rehearsals nearly every night will begin again.
Each time I take a break, I do a great deal of thinking. And because of my not making much money, I of course question whether what I have chosen to do with my life was a smart decision, whether it was the right decision. Of course, I went through this again this year.
Do I really want to try to stick with this music thing? Is teaching what I really want to do? Will I ever make enough money to be comfortable? I go through doubts, thoughts of what else I could do, where I could get a job if (or when) music doesnt work out. I even question whether I want to be a trombone player any more. And really, Im glad I have these thoughts. Because its not the questions you ask yourself that are important. Its the answers you come up with.
Each time I take this break, several things happen. First, those questions. Then, my own little quest, if you will, to find answers. Sometimes I truly do search them out, and sometimes even find them, but more often then not, with a watchful eye and an conscious attitude, those answers have a tendency to present themselves. Its funny how many things you can find out about yourself just by paying attention.
Here are this years eye openers:
1. Thoughts on teaching. I was never really in doubt on whether or not I wanted to continue doing this. I always did. I truly love it. Its what I look forward to each day. My studio is awesome, and watching and being a part of their learning and musical journey is one of the things I value more than any other out of life. I simply questioned whether or not I could afford to do so forever. The answer: Fuck it. Id rather be poor and happy then rich and empty.
2. Symphony playing. Its tough. Its a lot of work for (at the moment) no pay. And occasionally I question whether its something I want to continue. However, one thing I do whenever we come to a new set with either symphony that seems to help in my playing is to buy recordings of each piece. I did that this past weekend, since I didn't have recordings of Jean Sibelius Symphony No. 4 or Hector Berlioz Roman Carnival Overture. I already had Rimsky-Korsakov Scheherazade, Strauss Don Juan, and Coplands Fanfare for the Common Man.
Listening to these pieces helped me remember the love affair I have with playing this stuff, as well as sitting in the orchestra to do so.
3. New music and new books. One CD and one book specifically this year. The CD was Arnold Jacobs Legacy of an Artist. Jacobs played principle tuba for the Chicago Symphony from 1944 to 1988. Incredible musician and tuba player, but this CD wasnt just his playing. About every other track are quotes from him talking about teaching, music, and brass playing techniques and ideas. Real eye opening stuff. Things that the first time I heard them, they made so much sense and were so easy to understand that they went right into my thought process.
The book was The World of Music According to Starker by Jonas Starker. Starker is a Hungarian born cellist who lived through WWII as a Jewish child and young man in Eastern Europe, and is currently teaching at Indiana University, and has played with The Metropolitan Opera, the New York Phil, Chicago Symphony, and others. His recordings are incredible, and even as a trombone player, I use his recordings of Bachs Cello Suites when I work on them, as well as Brahms first Cello Concerto. Incredible book, incredible person, incredible musician.
The combination of these three things, all taking place in the last week or so, have re-cemented my love for music, the trombone (and all brass, for that matter) and teaching.
And yesterday marked the end of my break with my regular Sunday evening lessons back in town. Im always exited this time of year, the end of my break, everything restarting. The ability to question ones self with some serious and mind bending queries, and still come up with answers, answers none-the-less that support continuing on, are important for all of us.
After all, if we cant question ourselves, how do we answer ourselves?
I'm a big proponent of taking a break, a couple weeks off, each year to realign the brain and soul and what-not. I'm just coming to the end of mine now, which means the regular schedule of constant teaching and rehearsals nearly every night will begin again.
Each time I take a break, I do a great deal of thinking. And because of my not making much money, I of course question whether what I have chosen to do with my life was a smart decision, whether it was the right decision. Of course, I went through this again this year.
Do I really want to try to stick with this music thing? Is teaching what I really want to do? Will I ever make enough money to be comfortable? I go through doubts, thoughts of what else I could do, where I could get a job if (or when) music doesnt work out. I even question whether I want to be a trombone player any more. And really, Im glad I have these thoughts. Because its not the questions you ask yourself that are important. Its the answers you come up with.
Each time I take this break, several things happen. First, those questions. Then, my own little quest, if you will, to find answers. Sometimes I truly do search them out, and sometimes even find them, but more often then not, with a watchful eye and an conscious attitude, those answers have a tendency to present themselves. Its funny how many things you can find out about yourself just by paying attention.
Here are this years eye openers:
1. Thoughts on teaching. I was never really in doubt on whether or not I wanted to continue doing this. I always did. I truly love it. Its what I look forward to each day. My studio is awesome, and watching and being a part of their learning and musical journey is one of the things I value more than any other out of life. I simply questioned whether or not I could afford to do so forever. The answer: Fuck it. Id rather be poor and happy then rich and empty.
2. Symphony playing. Its tough. Its a lot of work for (at the moment) no pay. And occasionally I question whether its something I want to continue. However, one thing I do whenever we come to a new set with either symphony that seems to help in my playing is to buy recordings of each piece. I did that this past weekend, since I didn't have recordings of Jean Sibelius Symphony No. 4 or Hector Berlioz Roman Carnival Overture. I already had Rimsky-Korsakov Scheherazade, Strauss Don Juan, and Coplands Fanfare for the Common Man.
Listening to these pieces helped me remember the love affair I have with playing this stuff, as well as sitting in the orchestra to do so.
3. New music and new books. One CD and one book specifically this year. The CD was Arnold Jacobs Legacy of an Artist. Jacobs played principle tuba for the Chicago Symphony from 1944 to 1988. Incredible musician and tuba player, but this CD wasnt just his playing. About every other track are quotes from him talking about teaching, music, and brass playing techniques and ideas. Real eye opening stuff. Things that the first time I heard them, they made so much sense and were so easy to understand that they went right into my thought process.
The book was The World of Music According to Starker by Jonas Starker. Starker is a Hungarian born cellist who lived through WWII as a Jewish child and young man in Eastern Europe, and is currently teaching at Indiana University, and has played with The Metropolitan Opera, the New York Phil, Chicago Symphony, and others. His recordings are incredible, and even as a trombone player, I use his recordings of Bachs Cello Suites when I work on them, as well as Brahms first Cello Concerto. Incredible book, incredible person, incredible musician.
The combination of these three things, all taking place in the last week or so, have re-cemented my love for music, the trombone (and all brass, for that matter) and teaching.
And yesterday marked the end of my break with my regular Sunday evening lessons back in town. Im always exited this time of year, the end of my break, everything restarting. The ability to question ones self with some serious and mind bending queries, and still come up with answers, answers none-the-less that support continuing on, are important for all of us.
After all, if we cant question ourselves, how do we answer ourselves?