Wow, Idk where to start. Thank you all for sharing my sadest moments with me and making them better.
I have been so emotionally overwhelmed.
Just 2 days ago i log into my private myspace account (which i rarely even check) and notice i had a message. It seemed like spam at first but then it was titled: xx/xx/2000 Someone you once knew. This message means so much to me that i will share it with you:
"Hola.
I think it's been a little over 10 years since I probably first saw/noticed/became aware of your being. Roughly. More or less.
You may or may not remember me, which could possibly be a good thing. In that case though, this is all the more irrelevant, and thus this message should stop being read at this point.
You may not even want to remember, for all I know, so all the more: stop.
If there's anyone that comes to mind within that time frame aforementioned, then please do so.
That being said, I once knew you for a brief period in time. Of course, a bit younger then, but in essence still the same people. Still the same faces.. still the same names... still the same voices... well, if I had a voice then.
Although brief, I never did forget about you. Certain things just stay with you. Regardless of whatever events chose to present themselves at the given time.
... and well, rather than continue to turn this into some poor attempt at a walk down memory lane, like some cheap Hollywood movie attempting to persuade your emotions/feelings for a character one just met over 30 minutes ago and yet suddenly feel like they're the world... and thus acquiring a sense of false being/hope/connection with a very unrealistic character in a very unrealistic world. I'll spare the dramatics and epic scenes.
Why? Because I am not that person... weeell, epic scenes are pretty awesome though... maybe another time? In another life time? Maybe.
Sorry, I digress.
Basically: I wanted to apologize.
To you.
Yes, apologize.
You may not be expecting it or want it or need it or whatever. Or it may be a surprise etc. Whatever it may be or want you want it to be.
But over the years, this feeling... grew over time, since the years have passed... but being me, well... we now how that goes or rather went... I never... Eh.
This is probably pointless isn't it? After all these years, it probably is. Yet I felt the need anyway.... so does that then turn this into a favor? Fuck, I hope not. If that's the case, then I'm afraid I'm making another grave mistake.
Take it as you wish though. It's not for me to decide, just to communicate it... finally.
Perhaps it's a way of closure... nah. That be just pure selfishness. Fuck that.
Or maybe I'm simply not addressing this correctly.
I'll try again, sorry. I was never good with words.
Basically, while in tears (yeah, I know, a bit pathetic, but it still surfaces... funny that huh?)... I want to apologize to a girl I once knew who attended Lakeside Middle School, who then went on to attend Santa Fe High (although, I got kicked out eventually...), along with me. During my early teens.
I don't believe I ever did treat her fairly. Nor do I believe I ever appreciated her the way she should have been appreciated. I believe I undervalued her and unappreciated her and well, in the end treated her badly in a very poor manner.... regardless whether it was passive or not, I don't believe a person should be treated as such. I could go on creating endless excuses leading to one thing to another, possibly explaining certain actions... but I don't believe an apology should be followed/included along with meaningless pointless excuses. That would simply devalue it, and again, I'd be just making another mistake, yet again.
Regardless of whatever anyone thinks or believes... this is what I believe.
And while I'm still going through with this.. I never did thank you, did I? That's so fucked.
You may or may not be aware or let alone believe it, but while things didn't turn out for the better between us two, you did contribute to my life in a positive way. Being the secluded introvert that I been throughout the majority of my life... still am to an extent, you did play a part in the process of my systematic breakdown of a very negative person I once was, one way or another.
...and for that, I thank you.
Honest.
While all this could basically be meaningless to you and serve no purpose at this point in your life, I communicated it nonetheless... and in that case, I apologize for that as well.
Take care.
-A person you once knew "
I know who this person is. The amazing part is the fact that he never spoke to anyone. People thought he might have been mute. No one really knows why he never spoke. But finally he broke the silence. He contacted ME. After so many years of wondering what had happend to him, he finds me. It's so shocking i don't know how to take it. I'm so happy and yet sad. I'm so emotionally confused.
As we continue to talk, i refuse to lose his friendship again. No one has ever done something like this for me EVER. This was the biggest surprise i could ever get. I feel like i have impacted someone's life so much that they felt the need to thank me for it. I feel like i have made a difference in someones life.
I have been so emotionally overwhelmed.
Just 2 days ago i log into my private myspace account (which i rarely even check) and notice i had a message. It seemed like spam at first but then it was titled: xx/xx/2000 Someone you once knew. This message means so much to me that i will share it with you:
"Hola.
I think it's been a little over 10 years since I probably first saw/noticed/became aware of your being. Roughly. More or less.
You may or may not remember me, which could possibly be a good thing. In that case though, this is all the more irrelevant, and thus this message should stop being read at this point.
You may not even want to remember, for all I know, so all the more: stop.
If there's anyone that comes to mind within that time frame aforementioned, then please do so.
That being said, I once knew you for a brief period in time. Of course, a bit younger then, but in essence still the same people. Still the same faces.. still the same names... still the same voices... well, if I had a voice then.
Although brief, I never did forget about you. Certain things just stay with you. Regardless of whatever events chose to present themselves at the given time.
... and well, rather than continue to turn this into some poor attempt at a walk down memory lane, like some cheap Hollywood movie attempting to persuade your emotions/feelings for a character one just met over 30 minutes ago and yet suddenly feel like they're the world... and thus acquiring a sense of false being/hope/connection with a very unrealistic character in a very unrealistic world. I'll spare the dramatics and epic scenes.
Why? Because I am not that person... weeell, epic scenes are pretty awesome though... maybe another time? In another life time? Maybe.
Sorry, I digress.
Basically: I wanted to apologize.
To you.
Yes, apologize.
You may not be expecting it or want it or need it or whatever. Or it may be a surprise etc. Whatever it may be or want you want it to be.
But over the years, this feeling... grew over time, since the years have passed... but being me, well... we now how that goes or rather went... I never... Eh.
This is probably pointless isn't it? After all these years, it probably is. Yet I felt the need anyway.... so does that then turn this into a favor? Fuck, I hope not. If that's the case, then I'm afraid I'm making another grave mistake.
Take it as you wish though. It's not for me to decide, just to communicate it... finally.
Perhaps it's a way of closure... nah. That be just pure selfishness. Fuck that.
Or maybe I'm simply not addressing this correctly.
I'll try again, sorry. I was never good with words.
Basically, while in tears (yeah, I know, a bit pathetic, but it still surfaces... funny that huh?)... I want to apologize to a girl I once knew who attended Lakeside Middle School, who then went on to attend Santa Fe High (although, I got kicked out eventually...), along with me. During my early teens.
I don't believe I ever did treat her fairly. Nor do I believe I ever appreciated her the way she should have been appreciated. I believe I undervalued her and unappreciated her and well, in the end treated her badly in a very poor manner.... regardless whether it was passive or not, I don't believe a person should be treated as such. I could go on creating endless excuses leading to one thing to another, possibly explaining certain actions... but I don't believe an apology should be followed/included along with meaningless pointless excuses. That would simply devalue it, and again, I'd be just making another mistake, yet again.
Regardless of whatever anyone thinks or believes... this is what I believe.
And while I'm still going through with this.. I never did thank you, did I? That's so fucked.
You may or may not be aware or let alone believe it, but while things didn't turn out for the better between us two, you did contribute to my life in a positive way. Being the secluded introvert that I been throughout the majority of my life... still am to an extent, you did play a part in the process of my systematic breakdown of a very negative person I once was, one way or another.
...and for that, I thank you.
Honest.
While all this could basically be meaningless to you and serve no purpose at this point in your life, I communicated it nonetheless... and in that case, I apologize for that as well.
Take care.
-A person you once knew "
I know who this person is. The amazing part is the fact that he never spoke to anyone. People thought he might have been mute. No one really knows why he never spoke. But finally he broke the silence. He contacted ME. After so many years of wondering what had happend to him, he finds me. It's so shocking i don't know how to take it. I'm so happy and yet sad. I'm so emotionally confused.
As we continue to talk, i refuse to lose his friendship again. No one has ever done something like this for me EVER. This was the biggest surprise i could ever get. I feel like i have impacted someone's life so much that they felt the need to thank me for it. I feel like i have made a difference in someones life.
VIEW 23 of 23 COMMENTS
scrapi:
This is such a beautiful story. Isn't life jut crazy sometimes? I am both thrilled and jealous of this great new friendship for you!
leebo77:
It's a strange feeling to be contacted out of the blue like that isn't it. Almost like a cue that you need to take some kind of action. Pat yourself on the back for making a positive impact on someone.