So I am going to be a father. My wife is 3 months along and thanks to all the Gods her morning sickness ended a few weeks back, and now we are on the hormonal roller coaster that is often associated with puberty and menopause. I really dont mind the psychosis, I love my wife and usually after a verbal beating she is quick to apologize, I laugh a little on the inside when I see one of her turns coming on. But anyway my wife is great (just really tired and I dont begrudge her that).
What is on my mind is raising a child in this day and age. I like any good daddy to be have read a bunch of books, picked my friends brains, spoke to my parents (Not that I trust them as far as I can kick them some days). I am trying to reconcile who my children will become under my influence. I have always believed that who you are is a journey not a destination. I have often smiled to my self when people tell me they are going somewhere to find themselves, not to dismiss their intentions but I try to explain that you dont have to leave a place to know your self you really just have to look at how you make decisions and the decisions you have made well therein lives who you are. Now if you leave a place because you cant make decisions to define yourself, then get the hell out of dodge!
Yet again I digress. I am worried by how much children are bombarded with media, advertising, the pressure of social class etc. My wife is a teacher, I will be a teacher this year, and I am a photographic artist and writer in my spare time (umm yeah no money in sight there). My wife and I are pretty leftist to say the least. We believe knowledge and happiness are more important that money. I dont know how our beliefs will affect our kids in this social paradigm. Will they be disadvantaged by our socialist influence and anti-consumerist attitudes? What happens when the yuppie kids have all the gear and they dont? How do you explain that?
Another thing is spiritual stability, how do you work that one out My wife and I are both nominally Christian, but we do not go to church, I was raised Catholic but went to join my native family and participated with them as a child as well (I still practice my spirituality which is a whole other journal). So anyway I learned early on that the Divine is what you make of it, and what ever mask works for you is the road to travel. What do I do with my children? Which direction do you march them toward? Do you go laissez-faire and hope they find their own way?
My wife suggested we take our children to church Ummm I am not about to argue with a pregnant lady I have to sleep next to but it was what was behind the question that hit me like a brick. Does having children mean that you give up your beliefs for them so they have stability? Am I a horrible person and even worse, going to be a horrible dad because I think it is wrong to betray your personal beliefs, even for family? Am I just being a selfish self-absorbed jerk with this attitude? Do I admit now that I cant watch my family suffer for my beliefs? Or will I realize that my family is my heart and soul, so betraying them is the true death of my beliefs?
Anyway Im just spinning right now (like you couldnt tell). Every parent deals with these questions, I guess.
It's odd how fast the big questions in your life can change.
What is on my mind is raising a child in this day and age. I like any good daddy to be have read a bunch of books, picked my friends brains, spoke to my parents (Not that I trust them as far as I can kick them some days). I am trying to reconcile who my children will become under my influence. I have always believed that who you are is a journey not a destination. I have often smiled to my self when people tell me they are going somewhere to find themselves, not to dismiss their intentions but I try to explain that you dont have to leave a place to know your self you really just have to look at how you make decisions and the decisions you have made well therein lives who you are. Now if you leave a place because you cant make decisions to define yourself, then get the hell out of dodge!
Yet again I digress. I am worried by how much children are bombarded with media, advertising, the pressure of social class etc. My wife is a teacher, I will be a teacher this year, and I am a photographic artist and writer in my spare time (umm yeah no money in sight there). My wife and I are pretty leftist to say the least. We believe knowledge and happiness are more important that money. I dont know how our beliefs will affect our kids in this social paradigm. Will they be disadvantaged by our socialist influence and anti-consumerist attitudes? What happens when the yuppie kids have all the gear and they dont? How do you explain that?
Another thing is spiritual stability, how do you work that one out My wife and I are both nominally Christian, but we do not go to church, I was raised Catholic but went to join my native family and participated with them as a child as well (I still practice my spirituality which is a whole other journal). So anyway I learned early on that the Divine is what you make of it, and what ever mask works for you is the road to travel. What do I do with my children? Which direction do you march them toward? Do you go laissez-faire and hope they find their own way?
My wife suggested we take our children to church Ummm I am not about to argue with a pregnant lady I have to sleep next to but it was what was behind the question that hit me like a brick. Does having children mean that you give up your beliefs for them so they have stability? Am I a horrible person and even worse, going to be a horrible dad because I think it is wrong to betray your personal beliefs, even for family? Am I just being a selfish self-absorbed jerk with this attitude? Do I admit now that I cant watch my family suffer for my beliefs? Or will I realize that my family is my heart and soul, so betraying them is the true death of my beliefs?
Anyway Im just spinning right now (like you couldnt tell). Every parent deals with these questions, I guess.
It's odd how fast the big questions in your life can change.
I think that the idea of being responsible for a child's future is frightening... but you seem like the kind of guy who is good at figuring things out; I'm sure you'll figure this out too.
Just please, please for the love of all things good and great, please don't name your child Seven