Fuck! It hurts. I can't listen to music, every stupid song reminds me of her, even the ones I don't like. It's ironic how the songs or artists you shared seem to be the ones that play the most often. I can't watch movies, because I find some connection there that seemingly applies to us. If only I did this more when we were together. I haven't slept. I lost my appetite. My motivation has plummeted. I've even lost my interest in looking at the pictures here. At least I know my tear ducts work however.
The nights are the worst. I make it through the day. The days I keep busy. I can get out, see people, be with friends. Friends can't be with me at night though. The nights scare me. The nights are when heartache seeps in. Night is when the ghosts haunt me. I get stuck in my head and can't get out of it. I obsess over moments I could have done something different, words I could have said, actions I could have taken, but didn't. I'm trying to put together a puzzle that has no discernible pattern, or more importantly, in the end, no real point.
The nights are the worst. I make it through the day. The days I keep busy. I can get out, see people, be with friends. Friends can't be with me at night though. The nights scare me. The nights are when heartache seeps in. Night is when the ghosts haunt me. I get stuck in my head and can't get out of it. I obsess over moments I could have done something different, words I could have said, actions I could have taken, but didn't. I'm trying to put together a puzzle that has no discernible pattern, or more importantly, in the end, no real point.
Im sorry youre feeling that way! I am usually really good at advice, but never have been good at the heartbreak side of it... Time somehow always does heal though.
I dont know the story... but I hope it gets better
First off, don't let this destroy you. I mean, I'm not gonna tell you not to wallow; by all means, do! Play it over and over in your head and cry a lot, bawl at the stupidest songs, let the night get to you -- it's the only way your brain is going to work through it all -- but keep doing that daytime stuff, don't let the misery take over completely. Time heals all wounds, so the saying goes. Yadda, yadda...
But here's the gem/pearl/whatever among my somethings of wisdom: it wasn't meant to be. Now, I don't mean that in the astrological or will-of-the-gods sort of way -- but if Fate is what you're into, then grab hold of that for all it's worth -- rather I mean the basic human psychology and odd twists of the cosmos sort of way. Here, let me tell you a story...
Nearly every woman I've dated I thought was "The One". Yeah, I know...
And then she was gone. Just like that. Poof... And sometime the next year she was married to somebody else.
And eventually, finally, I accepted it. It wasn't meant to be. Something caused her to reexamine the relationship, and then to move on. She's still married to the guy; and I met and married TheFox. In your case, she met someone else. That sucks. That really sucks. But would you have her stay?
We're like puzzle pieces, our personalities and our relationships. Some are deceptively close in fit, but still not quite right. Some people are fine with not quite right. Some people aren't. Better to find out before you make something legally binding. Two years was it? That's a long time by modern standards. Your pain is valid. So caress your misery right now, but keep an eye to the dawn, to the horizon. There are other fish in the sea. I hate that saying, but it's true. Keep your chin up. If we are anything, we humans, it is persistent (really; I can even give you evolutionary anthropological proof!
Anywho, if I were in Asheville I'd take you out for a beer and a good cry. Take care.