pattti

My horoscope for today, Makes total sense.

"Put a little time and effort into a relationship that is important to you. The extra attention you give to someone will be noticed, well received and reciprocated."


I want a new job. I want a new life, actually. My older brother offered for me to go up to Boston and stay with them for a little bit just to take a break from shit. I would love too, but I dont have any money. He seems to always forget that when he offers these things. *sigh*

Called off work today. I've had two very very emotional days, and I couldn't drag myself out of bed this morning. As lame as it sounds, and NO, i wont really off myself, I have been wishing more than anything that I had a gun. I want to blow my fucking head off and get it over with.

My relationship is ruined.
Half of my friendships are ruined.
My job is ruined.
My family half hates me, even though they are taking care of me right now.

I don't know how to deal with anything anymore.

I am so desperate for attention and affection that I feel like I would do just about anything for a kiss. JUST ONEEEEEEEEE MEANINGFUL KISS.

I need to be held.
I want to feel someones heart beating.


i want to feel ALIVE again.