don't really know why but i feel like writing publicly right now. beats studying. yeah, lovely, right? i'm a super senior and i'm still taking summer courses...
anyway, just feel like writing.
I've been noticing more and more of my father in me lately. Which, more often than not, is a bad thing. I love my father, but he drives me nuts and most of the people around him. He's a loving man, but he has some serious flaws. I noticed myself talking just like him today. It's been 6 years since we shared a house, he and I, and it was really weird that all the sudden I sounded just like him. And noticed it too! So, as is typical, my mind began to race. And then began to wonder...
When do we become our parents? When is that point in our lives that suddenly we switch over? It almost seems to happen over night. You go to sleep and then one day wake up, drop all your ideals from childhood and slip into the mold your parents lived in. When does that happen and why? The older I get, the more I see my mother and father in me. It's sometimes upsetting, sometimes reassuring. But is it only reassuring because it's comfortable? It's something we know? What happened to who I was? Was I always my mother and father and just didn't know it til now? I would love to argue that. I mean, wasn't I that little kid 15 years ago swearing I would be better than my father? Every day I see little kids vowing to never be like their parents. They vow to be bigger, better, bolder. (sounds like a soap ad) But what happens to that? If that's the case, why isn't this world more delightful? If every generation is supposed to surpass the one previous, why is there still such a large amount of the population that remains miserable and mean? If every generation surpasses the next, we should all be super-parents by now. And yet we remain the same. Why is that? Why do we progress and then regress?
Am I destined to become my father? He swore to never be like his mother and now he's a spitting image. I swore to never be like him...what's my fate? Do I have a choice? Can I surpass my mother and father or merely live up to where they got?
anyway, just feel like writing.
I've been noticing more and more of my father in me lately. Which, more often than not, is a bad thing. I love my father, but he drives me nuts and most of the people around him. He's a loving man, but he has some serious flaws. I noticed myself talking just like him today. It's been 6 years since we shared a house, he and I, and it was really weird that all the sudden I sounded just like him. And noticed it too! So, as is typical, my mind began to race. And then began to wonder...
When do we become our parents? When is that point in our lives that suddenly we switch over? It almost seems to happen over night. You go to sleep and then one day wake up, drop all your ideals from childhood and slip into the mold your parents lived in. When does that happen and why? The older I get, the more I see my mother and father in me. It's sometimes upsetting, sometimes reassuring. But is it only reassuring because it's comfortable? It's something we know? What happened to who I was? Was I always my mother and father and just didn't know it til now? I would love to argue that. I mean, wasn't I that little kid 15 years ago swearing I would be better than my father? Every day I see little kids vowing to never be like their parents. They vow to be bigger, better, bolder. (sounds like a soap ad) But what happens to that? If that's the case, why isn't this world more delightful? If every generation is supposed to surpass the one previous, why is there still such a large amount of the population that remains miserable and mean? If every generation surpasses the next, we should all be super-parents by now. And yet we remain the same. Why is that? Why do we progress and then regress?
Am I destined to become my father? He swore to never be like his mother and now he's a spitting image. I swore to never be like him...what's my fate? Do I have a choice? Can I surpass my mother and father or merely live up to where they got?