pasquaagnolet

I have a confession to make.

When I created my profile, I entered my son's birthday.

My birthday isn't June 23rd, and I'm not a Cancer.

My real birthday is September 16th and I'm a Virgo.

But I also subtracted 10 years off my age.

And I feel weird and guilty about it as I am the world's worst liar.

I did it because I know I'm a lot older than most people, women, at least, who are members here.

I didn't want to be pigeonholed as "mature" or approaching crone-dom.

In 6 days, I'll be 41 years old.

So there you have it... I feel a lot better now.

I also want to admit something else.

Despite the images I share, I don't aspire to be a Suicide Girl. And I don't show my face in my pictures because right now I prefer to feel more anonymous... it gives me a feeling of... security, perhaps?

I modelled a lot when I was younger, and I've even considered getting back into it, but I'm too busy with work and life and spending time with my son to work on my portfolio right now.

In real life, I'm quiet, I work hard every day, family is really important to me... so important that I don't go out... and I don't date... and I don't have a boyfriend.

I was clumsy and chubby as a teenager, a real late bloomer. When I went to the university I lost weight and suddenly, friends doing photography asked me to model for their assignments. I was nervous and unsure about myself.

When I saw the pictures it was hard to believe it was me (still is), but it gave me confidence I'd never had before.

I started taking photography classes too.

The pictures I take now and post here are in their most basic core essence, an expression of a side of me that is suppressed in my real life.

I'm not an attention whore, and in real life I actually detest being the object of attention. I don't know how to flirt, and I have intense difficulties in social situations and in relationships in reading other people's intentions, feelings, etc...

But inside of me definitely exists a very sexual creature. I love sex and consider myself a very passionate person. But most of the time it's something I explore and enjoy on my own, except for once a week, when I DO see someone... where there's no strings attached, no expectations, just friendship and an amazing hour.

But it's not enough... I want more time where I can unleash the hidden passions in me.

Some days they bubble over like a tea kettle boiling on high, whistle screaming through the house.

And that's when I take pictures.

It's very personal, but that's also a contradiction because I joined this site (which I belonged to years ago as a shy, always completely clothed member!)...

I was starting to feel so overt in my sexuality that I fantasized about seeking out anonymous encounters to satiate the need. And there was something about that which I knew did not fit into my "real life".

So I chose what I felt was a more responsible, and genuine option. I joined this site, where I could express my sexuality and blow off some of that steam.

I took some pictures the other day, and was going through them this morning when I found myself taking them in a more artistic, colorful direction...

It will take me a while to finish the set of photos and post them... and then I want to go back and do the same type of thing to some of the first pictures I posted (my profile ones).

It's enjoyable for me, a good creative outlet, definitely different from the real sets from the SG models.

Here's a preview of this set of pictures, which I call "Violetta".

Once I finish creating this set of pictures, I'll go back and add the rest of the pictures to the set of images I called "Yearning" at the time.


I take all of my pictures simply with the webcam on my laptop. It's easy, and I like the rough quality of the images. I have a digital camera and a little tripod, but I think it would be clumsier to use, but maybe someday I'll try it. I use Photoshop to color and add frames to my pictures... I'm learning to use it, so be gentle!


So that's my big confession for the day. Please promise me that you won't call me a "cougar"!


Now I'm off to finish these pictures, then hang out with my cool kid...

He's going to teach me how to play chess, we're going to watch this morning's NASA GRAIL launches on NASA TV, and maybe take our dog to the beach...


But before I part, a favor! Can any of you recommend some Suicide Girls to me that I might find interesting? Ones that are more creative and artistic, etc? I don't have any favorites right now and while I've looked through a bunch of sets, I haven't found anything yet that especially strikes a chord in me.

Thanks and have an awesome weekend!

Love from Pasqua