partythighs

still no job. portland is making me lonely. there are couples everywhere here, and then when i go home there is another couple. i hope i make some friends soon. we will see. its very calming and peaceful being here though. i feel like knots inside of me are untwisting and pull taught, and old animosities and other such poisionous types are leaving my system. i feel much nicer and more relaxed. i feel like being a better person, we will see i guess. the cold is creeping in today. i found a coat i like at ross, but its light blue which i dont like. we will see. i need to print out resumes here at the library, but i dont have any money, so i dont think i can get away with it. im so broke. the food is running low. my moms dog probably has cancer, and will probably die soon. we have lived with the dog since i was 8. i feel very sad. overall, i dunno, i guess i just feel calm, and all other feels are on the surface of that. lonely and calm and peaceful. and cold. and uncomfortable because i am dressed up for a job interview. and hungry. no matter how calm i feel i guess i will always be antsy.