GAH! I feel so ill.
For the past two weeks I've had a cough which, by the end of this week, I felt like I was finally getting over.
Then on Thursday afternoon I went home from work early because I was feeling so ill. Really nauseous and restless.
I usually sleep as soon as my head hits the pillow. But I was awake for about 3 hours after I went to bed. Hardly insomnia, but pretty bad by my standards!
I slept through my alarm yesterday and woke up about half an hour later than I should have left the house. I called work and told them I wouldn't be there. I tried to go back to sleep but couldn't on about 4 different occasions yesterday. BOO!
After a sensible night's sleep last night, I was expecting to feel pretty good this morning. So much for that! I feel worse than I have in the entire two weeks I've been ill. I've got a thumping headache and I'm full of snot. It's so frustrating.
I'm spending all of my time procrastinating though. I'm already worried about going to work again on Monday. It's a pattern I recognize from when I was in university two years ago. I'd put off doing anything and convinced myself that I was ill. I'd stay in my room and not go out because I was 'ill'. Exactly the same thing's happening now. The only difference is that so far I haven't had any panic attacks about sharks under my bed that are trying to eat my legs off :S
I've been depressed enough times to know that that's exactly what it is. Its' very nature though makes you happy for it to take over. I'm quite content with the thought of staying in the house and not getting dressed for the next few weeks and maybe months. I'm worried about going to work because that will just get in the way of me being able to not do anything and feel sorry for myself.
For the record, the only thing I think this has to do with the failed marriage is that I don't have any furniture and there's still a load of shit to sort out.
I haven't written my other blog (http://leighsus.blogspot.com) in nearly a month. I'm missing being creative but I'm not motivated enough to do anything. I've got my first stand-up gig in over a year in less than two weeks, for which I need to write material. I've got so much going on that's material-worthy. Come on! My life is tragic! I just can't be arsed to do anything about it.
I wasn't really expecting such a long post. Ah well. Hooray for chemical imbalances!
On the lighter side of things, here's Peter Serafinowicz being hilarious...
http://www.chortle.co.uk/video/2008/10/03/7520/fifty_impressions_in_two_minutes
For the past two weeks I've had a cough which, by the end of this week, I felt like I was finally getting over.
Then on Thursday afternoon I went home from work early because I was feeling so ill. Really nauseous and restless.
I usually sleep as soon as my head hits the pillow. But I was awake for about 3 hours after I went to bed. Hardly insomnia, but pretty bad by my standards!
I slept through my alarm yesterday and woke up about half an hour later than I should have left the house. I called work and told them I wouldn't be there. I tried to go back to sleep but couldn't on about 4 different occasions yesterday. BOO!
After a sensible night's sleep last night, I was expecting to feel pretty good this morning. So much for that! I feel worse than I have in the entire two weeks I've been ill. I've got a thumping headache and I'm full of snot. It's so frustrating.
I'm spending all of my time procrastinating though. I'm already worried about going to work again on Monday. It's a pattern I recognize from when I was in university two years ago. I'd put off doing anything and convinced myself that I was ill. I'd stay in my room and not go out because I was 'ill'. Exactly the same thing's happening now. The only difference is that so far I haven't had any panic attacks about sharks under my bed that are trying to eat my legs off :S
I've been depressed enough times to know that that's exactly what it is. Its' very nature though makes you happy for it to take over. I'm quite content with the thought of staying in the house and not getting dressed for the next few weeks and maybe months. I'm worried about going to work because that will just get in the way of me being able to not do anything and feel sorry for myself.
For the record, the only thing I think this has to do with the failed marriage is that I don't have any furniture and there's still a load of shit to sort out.
I haven't written my other blog (http://leighsus.blogspot.com) in nearly a month. I'm missing being creative but I'm not motivated enough to do anything. I've got my first stand-up gig in over a year in less than two weeks, for which I need to write material. I've got so much going on that's material-worthy. Come on! My life is tragic! I just can't be arsed to do anything about it.
I wasn't really expecting such a long post. Ah well. Hooray for chemical imbalances!
On the lighter side of things, here's Peter Serafinowicz being hilarious...
http://www.chortle.co.uk/video/2008/10/03/7520/fifty_impressions_in_two_minutes
VIEW 14 of 14 COMMENTS
Sorry to hear about your problems with depression. It's something I know well, the best thing to do is just try and distract yourself from it even though that sounds difficult it does help. Just keep active, the more time you have time to yourself to ponder on it the worse it gets and it just becomes a vicious circle. x