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parlay

Rural, mountainous NC.

Member Since 2007

Followers 47 Following 49

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Thursday Jan 07, 2010

Jan 7, 2010
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For my first time on in more than a year, I might as well enumerate the radical changes in my life before anything else:

- At last calculation, I've seen more television than anyone should ever have time for.

- I committed to spending a year in Hong Kong, made it 2 months and then thanked god/my parents and school that I could leave and return home. Somehow, Chapel Hill looks much less horrible.

- After becoming virtually an alcoholic, I've joined AA and am making that struggle. I get tired of being told that quitting must be complete and forever, and I hope to eventually tread a middle lane. In the meantime, I have yet to complete a white chip. frown

- My photography commitment went through the roof and then plummeted when I felt worse and drank more. It will resume, though perhaps not to my satisfaction. My Photography Site

- My romantic life is complicated, seemingly serious and troubles me with commitments I either can't make or someone else will not make to me. Wait, that's not a change.

- I've begun to like pizza...

- I respect myself more, though I am still not getting laid enough.

- I've now been to Montreal, driven through Denali in winter and have seen a country where Portuguese is an active language.

- I adore crossword puzzles and have happily taken up hobbies and interests which are more approachable and less pretentious than some of my previous, fully solitary habits.



Ok, all that's out of the way. I always have trouble with these updates and things. I'm rarely active enough on a site like this to draw attention and friends, so I'm never sure what the audience is for my posts. The surest way to have no audience is to not post, though. I suppose my social/networking skills have not improved so much as I would sometimes like to think.

For anyone who knows me, the cessation of my drinking is strange news. That said, I haven't really ceased drinking completely yet, and that isn't strange news. I suppose I got tired of wondering who I had alienated, what happened in the five episodes of television that I had watched the previous night and how I was in general creating a life for myself that I didn't respect. I am happy to report that the two most obvious and stated reasons for my drinking - to sleep and to be less socially awkward - are at least half aided by actually giving up alcohol. I now sleep like a child in a very cozy bed. This is all to say - I repent the stupid, childish, cruel, idiotic, slutty, painful things which made up too much of my life for the past fews years. I also am endlessly thankful for the friends who loved me no matter what.

I just got back from my second trip to Alaska, and I find that I love it there as much as more or less anywhere I've been. That is, taking into consideration that I haven't been yet during either of the temperate seasons. Montreal, Colorado, New Orleans and Maine all make it to the list of lovely, livable places, though. Last spring I was fortunate enough to visit New Orleans twice (once of vacation followed by a shorter period for a linguistics conference), and I am relieved to say that I love it as much as ever. And then a man came into my life who grew up there and of whom I am accordingly jealous. I now need to figure out where the hell my life is leading once I leave Carrboro and venture out into the world.

Also, I got my driver's license and first car last month! I love driving, and my Pontiac Sunfire [named Harvey] can kick it with the best of them.

In final notice, thanks to whomever gifted me this account for the next few months. It's too bad I wasted a month on it before posting, but the holidays are a complicated time. I'd still like to do a set, but I have no idea at the moment how to go about doing that. Perhaps before too long. Most likely it will remain a hope, though, and little more.

...And to all a good night

tremodian:
Hey, it's the internet. Occasionally your audience is guys who looked at the "Members" page and saw your photos post and then come across a great, personal, honest post like this. I'm usually a little embarrassed to post anything online, even on my facebook, which is theoretically full of my friends who are interested in what I'm doing. It's really courageous of you to quit drinking, or even try to take control of it. And to verge into the scary world of pizza. Good luck.
Jan 7, 2010

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