paragon

OK, so today I am horribly depressed. I feel like absolute shit. For the last two months I have been making plans to start in a cooking school at the end of August. This was going to be a HUGE move and involve me moving to Denver. I have been so excited to do all of this, but now I am getting really worried. At my current job, I make extreamely good money. Well leaving my job and going to school for the next six months was already going to be hard. Well after my recent trip to Vegas I am now absolutely freaking out because I really don't know if I can take making absolute dick for money while I am in the early phases of this career change. Its going to take me several years to get enough experience in the industry to move into a decent possition. But on top of this, the salary I will get as a capable chef will be half of what I make now. That is extreamely scary! So I am freaking out now knowing that I am basically praying that enjoying my job will be worth the huge loss of money. God I don't know what to do!

On top of this, I am also stressing out about the fact that I NEVER date anyone. I am so damn picky with women! When I actually find one that I like and have a total connection with, something happens that keeps things from working out in the beginning. I am never going to find anyone. And I miss women soooo much. God I need companionship! Ahhhh!!!!!!