papina

The drinking has been getting alot better-learning to curb myself, but still needing to quit completely at some point obviously.

Working alot more now to try & come up with all the money i need to pay for everything that the state is requiring. This is the scariest part because most of this I'm on a very short time limit on & unfortunately the economy is really hurting stripping. Gonna try a do a few amateur contests & hope that I win, cuz I really need the money so bad!

Also, reality is crashing around my ears alot quicker in the saddest way. My one bf (my gremlin) will be going away after January we believe. He has to do federal time-we've known about this for along time now, but it didn't really start becoming real to me until about a month ago. He's actually been able to avoid it & get his sentence lowered alot for a very long time now-but you can only avoid things for so long-even w/ the best lawyer. It's breaking my heart so much & I know it's gonna kill me when the time really arrives, but I plan on enjoying him & loving him as long as I can-that's all I can do, right.