papina

Ok, so unfortunately me & the bf broke up a few days ago-he flipped out on me a couple dif times (nothing violent-so no worries). It makes me so sad, but I know that it's for the best because it just wouldn't have worked. He was younger than me also so that prob didn't help. The last two weeks of the relationship I was pretty unhappy & unnerved anyways so it was just a matter of time. I'm just starting to wonder though, when I'm gonna be able to have a healthy relationship too, like other people. I mean I know that is pretty hard already w/ me being a stripper and all, but it is a dream of mine. He treated me so good too, was always such a gentlemen, caring, sensitive & emotional. Unfortunately, though, too much of the later two-it was too much for me. Also because he is younger he was prone to being jealous, insecure & little controlling-unfortunately my past followed me to his ears from other people (toxic people) lips. It's not fair that way I suppose-but everything happens for a reason-it just sux that I have to feel this horrible. I do miss him & care very much-even though I always knew that it wouldn't work. & I hate the fact that I'm breaking his heart right now-it eats me up inside in such a horrible way. I just hope he won't hate me later on down the road, that would kill me. I've never been good w/ breakups-always unbearably sad whether I'm the dumper or the dumpee-somehow I always feel like a bad person. I miss him so much, but I hope the best for him.