so, im gonna be a father. soon. and its as nerve racking and exciting as every cliche you've ever heard. i don't think it's going to be real for me until i hold my daughter in my arms...but even then, the reality of it will come in waves, incrementally...the first time i hear "daddy" coming from her mouth, the first decision she makes on her own, the first time she goes off to school, gains independence, falls in love, drives a car...its enthralling and nut clenchingly fuckin scary. to be responsible for a life, from birth to death, mine or hers, is a stifling thing. but im looking forward to it, to having a sense of purpose beyond the reptilian brain requirements of surviving, feeding, and fucking. to having someone to mold, to instruct, to teach...and watch become an entirely different and wholly independent human being. it isn't just a new chapter of your life, its a whole new book.
