papercrooks

I'm the type of tired that sleep will never cure. I took a week off of work, and the second day that I should have gone back, I called in. I can't take the job anymore, and it's mainly because of one person. The person used to be my best friend and now it seems like he despises me. It's so confusing because I tried at one point to repair that friendship, and it's all out the window.

I get these pains in my bones that I can't quite explain. I tried to explain them earlier by saying they feel like they're being bent to the point of breaking. I've been told it sounds like anxiety, because it only seems to happen when I get stressed. It gets so bad I can't move my extremities sometimes. I become quite literally stuck in whatever situation I happen to be in.

I'm entirely convinced that it is in my mind, and I think that makes it scarier. Knowing that my mind has the power to freeze my limbs when I want nothing more than to run away is something I would never want anyone to feel.


This sort of thing fixes itself with time, right? What is it that I need? Obviously a new job, I never got the raise for the promotion that I received 6 months ago. To top it off, I am now being garnished for a surgery that I should've never had to pay for in the first place. I'm getting less money to do more work. I hate to sound stupidly adolescent, but it doesn't seem fair.

I try to be optimistic, but it's so hard when I wake up crying in the morning because I don't want to go to work.
I am stuck. Literally. In my mind, and physically. As I type this my limbs are doing it again. I need as much of a new life as I can get.