so another ugly weekend rears it's head.
it started off well enough. went to go se my most recent ex's comeback set. yes this was the guy that said I couldnt come up to Toronto back in April...whatever tho. My presence at the club was not to make him feel uncomfy (I dont do that)but to support, he had been wanting to get a gig for forever and I was sincerely happy for him. some of his friends chose to act too-cool-for-school when I said a warm hello, but thats their deal.
the way I see it is theres so much shit thats happened to me on a bigger scale since then that he didnt matter to me anymore. but then agina, very few people matter to me these days.
then this cunt who owed me the remaining %50 of a portrait painting I did for her who hadn't gotten back to me was caught out partying. she made me pay my way into a special event at an afterhours bar (which I get in half-price for) only to give me $30 hoping it'd tie me over....fucking cunt. I took the money n walked.
today i emailed her that she would not see her painting unless she was willing to pay the interest (basically I gave her a deal cuz she was a friend of a friend so now I was charging her full price plus $20/hour on the changes she made me do). and if she doesnt want her painting hmm...sorry, but deposits are non-refundable.
not like me, but I'm tired of doing favours and having people walk all over me.
starting to get the impresiopn that certain Oakland-ers are avoiding me (other than the obvious one) and that its time for this fan to fade into the crowd. it makes me sad but what can you do to stop the shit-talk when its miles away? I wish it didnt have to be like this, I didnt mean for things to get so complicated on my visit to San Fran.
my headspace has totally changed since I've been back, very little makes me happy and every day I find a new reason to lose my trust in the goodness of people. I'd like to think the people I know are around for less than immediate satisfaction or instant gratifiction. I'm usually a blunt, take-no-shit person, but years of people breaking you down can make you snap. And I've had it. I get walked on everyday and I'm trying to think what I did in a past life to deserve such bad Karma, such cruel people walking in and out of my life?
when you have nothing or no one to lean on you will most likely fall hard. And those who seem to put you high up on a pedistal at one point wil give you a LONG way to fall.
I need a parachute. a "reminder that theres still good in the world" as someone said to me last week.
it started off well enough. went to go se my most recent ex's comeback set. yes this was the guy that said I couldnt come up to Toronto back in April...whatever tho. My presence at the club was not to make him feel uncomfy (I dont do that)but to support, he had been wanting to get a gig for forever and I was sincerely happy for him. some of his friends chose to act too-cool-for-school when I said a warm hello, but thats their deal.
the way I see it is theres so much shit thats happened to me on a bigger scale since then that he didnt matter to me anymore. but then agina, very few people matter to me these days.
then this cunt who owed me the remaining %50 of a portrait painting I did for her who hadn't gotten back to me was caught out partying. she made me pay my way into a special event at an afterhours bar (which I get in half-price for) only to give me $30 hoping it'd tie me over....fucking cunt. I took the money n walked.
today i emailed her that she would not see her painting unless she was willing to pay the interest (basically I gave her a deal cuz she was a friend of a friend so now I was charging her full price plus $20/hour on the changes she made me do). and if she doesnt want her painting hmm...sorry, but deposits are non-refundable.
not like me, but I'm tired of doing favours and having people walk all over me.
starting to get the impresiopn that certain Oakland-ers are avoiding me (other than the obvious one) and that its time for this fan to fade into the crowd. it makes me sad but what can you do to stop the shit-talk when its miles away? I wish it didnt have to be like this, I didnt mean for things to get so complicated on my visit to San Fran.
my headspace has totally changed since I've been back, very little makes me happy and every day I find a new reason to lose my trust in the goodness of people. I'd like to think the people I know are around for less than immediate satisfaction or instant gratifiction. I'm usually a blunt, take-no-shit person, but years of people breaking you down can make you snap. And I've had it. I get walked on everyday and I'm trying to think what I did in a past life to deserve such bad Karma, such cruel people walking in and out of my life?
when you have nothing or no one to lean on you will most likely fall hard. And those who seem to put you high up on a pedistal at one point wil give you a LONG way to fall.
I need a parachute. a "reminder that theres still good in the world" as someone said to me last week.
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
brocklee:
DOOD i will post a pic for ya soon to cheer ya up !!
brocklee:
heres that picture...CHEERS!!!
