Honesty has become my motto as of late. It's become my response to everything - in my emotions, in my thoughts, in my words.
When you are young you're taught that honesty just means saying it was you that stole the cookie, not the dog. That honesty was just not telling a lie.
But I have learned lately that honesty is a lot more.
Honesty does not just come out of saying facts.
Honesty is listening to your entire being. Honesty is listening to each and every emotion that seeps into your core. It means not suppressing that emotion and letting it live free. Letting it consume you.
Honesty means not prescribing to labels and categories. Honesty is being who you are.
Honesty is not being faithful just because you are supposed to be, but because you want to be.
Honesty is not holding back from calling because you know the trouble it can cause. Honesty is calling because you need to.
Honesty is listening to your feet, and letting them take you where you need to be. Sometimes they know better than you.
One time I was nearly mentally incapacitated with pain. I told myself to go to the beach. I had plans to walk along the shore up to the rocky viewpoint I always go to. When I get up there I can look out over the water and sky and ocean become one. The view is incredible. But as I was walking, I switched off. I chose to listen to my feet. They walked me to my right... onto a cement pipe that goes into the water. I used to walk onto these when I was little. One time I thought I saw a mermaid. This time, I walked along to the end, and I gazed into the water. I saw a quick dart of something glowing... [I instantly recalled back to a time when I was on acid at the beach with my friends discovering bioluminescent algae! When you touch the water it glows like such:
Needless to say, I was terribly excited. I swished the water - although it didn't glow. But the small glowing objects kept swimming around and I decided to be thankful for their presence, whatever they were. I stood up on top of the walkway and looked out into the ocean. I started to become overwhelmed with joy. I sang Hallelujah at the top of my lungs! My feet guided me there. I was happy and proud of that moment.
Honesty is listening to your body, and speaking your mind. Letting yourself get confused and wind up so that you can unravel again.
