paizlie

Todayyyy. .. .. ohh todayyyy. .. it's gonna be 70 today. .. thats pretty warm. .. i wish it would be a little warmer? maybe 80. .. s0o last night i talked to brittany. . i've pretty much been in love with her for 3 years. .. it's weird. .. that im married to dylan. .. i love him. .. he's good to me and just over all a good man and im good to him. .. but i predominantly lean towards women. .. i dont know why but in ct there seems to be virtually not ANY gay or bisexual women that are good looking. .. or half norm. .. or uhmmm white. .(i have no problem with any ethnicity but im not sexually attracted to black people or hispanic or really any other than white)<---just my preference i guess. . .. anywayz. .. she lives in ohio. .. i try my best to forget about her since i live 8 hours away from her. .. but i just can't and laways end up calling her and feeling like im living a lie. .. i am. .. in lot's of ways. .. to be with dylan and really like girls. .. it's an really shitty feeling. .. and i dont know. .. i guess i can admit im faking it to make it but i betcha most of the people you come in contact with on a daily basis can say that in some way. .. some aspect of their life. .. but i think my every day happiness is at stake. .. and i dont know really wut to do about that. .. im kindah scrambled. .. in the brain and heart today. .. but im gonna get outside and enjoy the weather. .. oh yeah. .. and i hafta go apply for a job at a topless bar. .. i think im gonna bartend. .. i gotta dress skimpy and serve shots. .. not a bad summer job. .. on the weekends. ..g0od money. .. and im game. <3 hope everyone has a wonderful saterday. .. tomorrow is mothers day CALL YOUR MAMA's OR BUY A CARD! <3 OH and here's a picture of my love. .. brittany nicole<3 i lalalove her.