paint

Its been 12 days sence my last entery, I am sorry to say i've been on a rollercoster to lonelyness. I havent felt like this in the longest time. Tired, Sick, depressed, confusse......
My realationship is going down the poopper. It is very sad to say, but i have been try with her soooo fuckin hard, i swear that i've been try to be the most understanding boyfriend i can be but she doesnt seem to care. Most poeple would say that a girl matures faster then a boy. In my case I have found nothing but the oppsite. I've all ready been through too much shit in my life.
But it never seem to matter Some people never grow up, or maybe i cant! and am nothing more then a whinny fuckin baby!!!!!!!!!
The hardest thing in this fuckin life, Is finding that shit that makes you fucken Happy!
Well i cant seem to find it. I've been going the grown up shit for awhile now SCHOOL, WORK, and yet I must wait for that day that all this hard work will pay off. I cant seem to find time to do what i love. And the thing that really makes me happy (be with girlfriend) right now, is falling apart....
I am a :robotrobot) , lreaning emotion.........