painless_suicide

bleh..im finally updating...i havent had time...been working almost all the fucking week. >_< but atleast im gonna get a fuckin whole lot of money ^_^
tonight was fun..i suppose...was going to have this big hotel party..but the plans fell through a bit (and all of my friends were busy..so i had to chill with these other people im sort of friends with) we ended up...
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well i dont know what to say haha...well yes i do..i dont know...im not really stressed out too much...dont know why...i guess cus i dont really have anything to worry about at the moment...
i went christmas shopping sat. man did that suck! hahah...there were so many damn people at the friggin mall that it probably took me 10 minutes just to find a parking...
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*sigh* isnt it sad how you can meet people online..and they seems kinda cool at first, but then all they want to talk about is sex and what you have done and what you are willing to do...then they try to get you to do things on cam for them..or even wrose, meet up with them to "have a little fun" bah! >_< people are...
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hmm...i just got a letter through school from a university about how they have seen my scores in my track/throwing and want me to attend there. hmmm...it was cool..and it wasnt like one of those letters that they send out to anyone..it was signed directly from the head coach and shit...although..hahah it is a lutheran university. so i dont really know about that...its a nice...
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here are some facts about me....
1) i can tend to be bossy...i never mean to, it just always happens one way or another.

2) im possesive...i dont really mean to do this either...i think mainly it is because it is part of my depression. i get too close to people...and when something happens that makes me feel like they are being an asshole or...
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im worthless...i shouldnt be allowed to live

well i finally uploaded some pics into my pic folder...no you pervs..not the nakie ones of me yet O_o it will still be a while yet...though i am going to do it at some point...just need somone to take pics of me O_O *shivers* who the hell am i going to find that ouwld do that?? haha. eh..whatever.
i think i am getting sick...and i...
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fuck...i hate my job, i hate all the fucking customers that come into that hell hole and i hate everything about it. tonight was one of the worst nights ever. i got yelled at by every single person that came through drive-thru...i almost broke into tears...god dammit...
im off to smoke a couple bowls and feel better.... or maybe just shoot myself..one of the two

i wanna be a suicidegirl >_< haha okay..yea i know..it wouldnt be a pretty sight...but still..it would be fun
haha i love complaining sometimes

god dammit >_< no no no....i just found out that my friend got hit by a car i cant stop crying....she got sent out to seattle tonight...im going to see her tomorrow..fuck my classes..i hope she is okay...i guess she broke her hip...and fractured her spine..im not really sure...but fuck...i dont know what to do....

eek! i think i broke my hand! ahaha...im not entirely sure...the other night i was driving home from seattle (about 1 hour and 30 minutes south of me) and i was getting onto the freeway and right away some stupid pig (cop) pulled me over and started bitching me out about how i got on the freeway wrong and all this shit. i was so...
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