pacific634

I woke up this morning fully clothed (even with the shoes on), lipstick smears on my cheek and neck, smelling like vodka pineapple juice, and having 3 missed calls and text messages.

ummmm..... I looked at my phone and within a matter of seconds it all came back to me. These are the following events that occurred in no particular order:

-I sang Rod Stewart, Queen, and Neil Diamond at the bar
-I came out to my best friend.. now she and her husband know that I do love women (of course I assured her that I would NEVER hit on her cause I consider her family-- that would be incest-- oh and explains the lipstick)
-An old friend gave my number to his buddy who happened to be an old flame (that explains the missed calls, texts-- shit, what did I say?)
-Smelling like pineapple and vodka?-- I think I dropped my drink and it spilled all over me

Shit, I hope I didn't make a complete jackass of myself last night. BTW, I know this is very bad and I shouldn't be promoting this, but I don't really remember driving home-- Apparently I stopped by In-n-out and did this superb parallel parking job.

For some odd reason, I can parallel park into any spot with confidence when I'm buzzed.

None of that matters-- it's NFL Sunday!! I gotta stop by the store and get ready to chill out at home!!