I must say that my life has been profoundly affected by SG, even without becoming an SG myself. My SG journey and the life changes it brought with it were all thanks to @sunshine . When we met at my art show last fall, I didn't know it then, but my life was about to change forever. We became instant friends, as did our significant others, and it wasn't long before the four of us were housemates. I love these two amazing souls so much, they are two of the most beautiful, thoughtful, kind, hardworking people I've ever met and their free spirited natures are definitely contagious. I love them like family. And their dog Zen is like my doggy son-in-law now (cuz my dog is head over heals in love with him).
I had known about and been a fan of SG for a while, but never really thought too much about it until Sunshine came into my life. The more I talked with her and watched her work, the more I became fascinated and inspired by the social justice side of SG. I have taken enough Women's Studies classes (and was raised by lesbian feminists) so I was no stranger to the idea that sex workers could be empowered and that the naked body should be celebrated not feared, but I had never really seen this put into practice in such a modern and exciting way. The more I watched Sunshine work, the more obsessed I became, not just because I am very much bisexual and I sure do love looking at naked ladies, but most of all because it became more and more clear to me that this is the future of modern feminism. Creating a worldwide forum for women of all shapes and sizes to be able to embrace their bodies and their sexualities. Too long have women been used as sexual beings by others, but been shamed when they embrace themselves publicly as sexual beings.
Furthermore, I strongly believe that sexuality is so threatening to our patriarchal society because women naturally excel in sexuality, whereas men are more predisposed to fighting. Historically speaking at least, whenever men are in charge, power comes from asserting physical dominance through an ability to fight. Women however, assert dominance and power through beauty and sexuality. If you look at our nearest ancestors, the apes; chimpanzees, who are patriarchal, fight to show power or to win favor with the alpha. However, in bonobos (who are nearly identical to chimps genetically but are matriarchal) one gains power or wins favor by pleasuring others (and particularly the female alpha) sexually. My point being, each gender has its strengths, and by taking the female strengths of beauty and sexuality and making them sinful, bad or giving it to a man to exploit, women's innate power is diminished, or vilified. I believe that Suicide Girls is taking a powerful stance to change this, by giving the power back to the women themselves, working to make the nude female form socially acceptable and allowing women to own their own sexuality without shame.
Sorry for the tangent, you can tell I feel strongly about this. Anyway... back to the story. I got the chance to assist Sunnie on a shoot with @rowdi here in Santa Cruz, and I was blown away by Rowdi's infectious personality, stunning beauty and unabashed self confidence. I left that shoot with a burning desire to get into this group of incredible women and to be more like them in anyway that I could. So I shot my first set with Sunshine in the back yard of my house. It was supposed to be just for fun, not nude, but the more we shot, the more confident I became. As the clothes came off, I was amazed by how empowered, free and beautiful I felt. The areas of my body that I used to hate, suddenly didn't seem so bad. And later, looking at the pictures, I was astounded by how suddenly, I loved my body. All of it. After a lifetime of feeling like the less attractive friend of the hot girl, suddenly I adored myself, just the way I was. Suicide Girls and @sunshine made that possible. I will never be Playboy beautiful, or Calvin Klein beautiful, but who cares? I would rather be Suicide Girls beautiful any day.
When Sunshine asked me to be her assistant, I was so flattered, and happy to have a way to become closer to this incredible community of strong, beautiful women. Each shoot I have assisted her on has renewed my love for humanity and strengthened my belief that this site is redefining what it means to be a feminist. All of these women I have met on shoots, SGs and hopefuls alike, have been beautiful, inside and out, intelligent, fun, strong and unique. As a woman who has never had a lot of girl friends (since I suck at a lot of girly things), and who tends to hang out with children and dudes, I am so stoked to be meeting all these beautiful, powerful, like minded women. @exning in particular was a huge inspiration to me when I met her, she is so kind, creative and beautiful and I found her to be very zen in the energy she sends into the world.
SG has also helped me tremendously as an artist, as a source of constant inspiration with so many incredible muses to chose from. I have many art shows centered around SG that I am planning, or working on. I can't wait to have the time and money to put some of the more ambitious SG shows that are floating around my head into action.
In less than a year, SG has changed my life profoundly. I am still debating whether to submit a set and become officially hopeful, mainly at this point because I was a teacher until very recently and want to be sure I can cut it financially without teaching before I become a nude model officially. But whether I do or not, I am still eternally grateful for the spiritual and social evolution that SG has brought to my life.
