outrightmd

oww. my stomach is killing me. i hate protein shakes. i've been eating 1.5 grams of protein per pound of bodyweight a day for 2-3 months now. its starting to get really old. thats a lot of protein (240g). i mean, its paying off and everything, i've definitely put on a lot of muscle, its just hard to keep doing it when half the time i feel like i'm going to explode because i'm forcing myself to eat. i guess you could say i've traded all my other addictions for weight-lifting (which i've heard a lot of people do while they're in treatment).

on another note, my ex called me last night. well here's how it went. she called twice between 12-12:30 and i didn't hear my phone. so i called her back at 1:30. she started apologizing left and right saying she was sorry and she was being selfish, because she just wanted to hear my voice. i asked her what was going on with her, why did she feel like she had to do this type of stuff. she said that she was really regretting what she had done and that she threw away the best thing that had happened to her since she's been sober. i really didn't know what to tell her other than i'm sorry she was feeling that way, but thats the way it had to be. still don't know exactly how i feel about the whole thing. i'm not angry at her like i was last friday, but i'm stilled bummed that things didn't work out.

enough about that. i'm going to watch boondock saints again.

omd.