things were good. then they were bad. then they were unbearable. now i'm numb. now i'm in pain. now i have a new tattoo
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
good show...happy...new trust, polar bears, engine down...emmm...happy
erich:
How ya doin, kiddo? Things going better for you?
menotyou:
Lost?
my car died again. it's on the cotati grade. a nice man pulled over and gave me a ride back home. i can't get AAA coverage because i'm not under my parents membership...even though the car is under their name. i told tony. his response was "that blows"...not "are you ok" or anything else. jackass doesn't give a shit less about me anymore.
erich:
Your car is on the side of the Cotati Grade??? Oh god, traffic will be backed up to Healdsburg just because there's something different on the grade. You've effectively doomed Sonoma County traffic forever!!!!!
That said... Are you OK? I've got AAA. if this ever happens again, gimme a call, and I'll come rescue you.
That said... Are you OK? I've got AAA. if this ever happens again, gimme a call, and I'll come rescue you.
I hung out at this guys house. He's 28. I'm pretty sure he has a girlfriend. We made out. I stayed the night (I didn't fuck him or anything...just kissing...) I feel aweful. I would just avoid the situation altogether, but he has my favorite earings and my Against Me! album. I want them back. Oh my...
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
erich:
I agree. If he's got a girlfriend, get out. things will only get worse. get away from all your people for a few days, and let yourself get back to normal. You'll feel a lot better. Hang out at parks, go hiking, whatever makes you happy. just do it either alone, or with other people.
sicpowered:
Well, if it goes nowhere, as it probably should, just smile and think if the sweet press of lips. I myself have not quite forgotten, but i can;t quite remember either. And wtf, there's nothin wrong with being 28 
Smile, your having fun
Smile, your having fun
i was quoting my friend about a particular band to my cousin. I was in my car. My car stereo NEVER works. As I was coming to the conclusion of the quote ("This band makes me want to cum in my pants") my stereo turns on. It hasn't worked in 3 days...ok... my car has a mind of its own...And it was a band that...
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erich:
Friday, midnight in Santa Rosa, Donnie Darko Director's Cut. Wanna join the gaggle going? (oh, and you can be damn sure that I'll bring my No Doubt CDs to listen to)
menotyou:
I watched DD Directors cut last night. I'm probably gonna watch it again tonight when I get home.
I watched DD Directors cut last night. I'm probably gonna watch it again tonight when I get home.
arg. I was doing so well for the past few days. Today was so much fun. Up until the last hour and a half. Goddam Tony. He makes me so angry sometimes. I went to the coast with my family. That was fun. My mum only made minor comments about what a fuck up I was, and that I'm a whore and whatnot. That was...
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sicpowered:
ouch...
Well, I've been feeling odd lately, and I realized why. I'm happy. I'm not really used to it, but I am. It's strange. But at the same time I'm still lonely. I tried to see Dani. We're so different. We're not who we used to be. Everyone grows up, but leaving eachother behind is not what we had in mind. I remember all the time...
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lunamaya:
youchy, keloids sukkk....... i had them on my ears too but they went away, with lots of tea tree oil and sea salt compresses. looks like we are from neighboring areas,...... where do you live now? I am in hopland... its quiet here... heheh 
i like it though, i must coz i bought a house here, and well- that makes it kinda permanent for me.
..but anyways, i thought i would add you - is that cool?
ciao!
maya
i like it though, i must coz i bought a house here, and well- that makes it kinda permanent for me.
..but anyways, i thought i would add you - is that cool?
ciao!
maya
I met this guy. He's sweet. He gives me lots of gifts. He calls me. I've known him a total of one day. He owns a record label. He works at the local venue and told me that I can get in with him for free. he owns?/works at a screen printing shop.
Wow, I feel very flattered. I'm not used to this kind of...
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Wow, I feel very flattered. I'm not used to this kind of...
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bohogirl:
The attention is always nice... so is being treated like the special person you are.
That said, listen to your intuition... logic has very little to do with it
Don't beat yourself up if this guy just doesn't do it for you... after all, you've only known him for a day - maybe things will change as you get to know him better. He could end up growing on you... or turn out to be a freak!
So, what local venue does he work at?
That said, listen to your intuition... logic has very little to do with it
Don't beat yourself up if this guy just doesn't do it for you... after all, you've only known him for a day - maybe things will change as you get to know him better. He could end up growing on you... or turn out to be a freak!
So, what local venue does he work at?
menotyou:
I thought you would like this.
I'm at the point where every little thing he says is like a cut on my skin. I hate still feeling this way, I hate where we're at right now. Talking to him, I still hear hope in his voice. I don't think he's so willing to let it go, no matter what he actually says. He wasn't the best or the nicest guy I've ever met, but he was the best and nicest guy to me, for the longest. I don't want to lose him completely. So I gotta do what I can. We have the same friends, so it's not like he'll
be out of my life completely. We'll go to the same parties, probably get drunk together and still have a good time. It's strange, just feeling so much in love, and so empty at the same time. I'm not sure why he had to say it, why he had to make it real. I'm not used to this distance. It's so sudden, you know? I didn't want this. I don't understand it. I don't know what to do anymore. I'm at the point where all I do is cry and talk myself in circles. I can't stop this.
I'm at the point where every little thing he says is like a cut on my skin. I hate still feeling this way, I hate where we're at right now. Talking to him, I still hear hope in his voice. I don't think he's so willing to let it go, no matter what he actually says. He wasn't the best or the nicest guy I've ever met, but he was the best and nicest guy to me, for the longest. I don't want to lose him completely. So I gotta do what I can. We have the same friends, so it's not like he'll
be out of my life completely. We'll go to the same parties, probably get drunk together and still have a good time. It's strange, just feeling so much in love, and so empty at the same time. I'm not sure why he had to say it, why he had to make it real. I'm not used to this distance. It's so sudden, you know? I didn't want this. I don't understand it. I don't know what to do anymore. I'm at the point where all I do is cry and talk myself in circles. I can't stop this.
I hate anxiety. I had my worste anxiety attack last night. Worse than its ever been in my entire life. I wanted to curl up and die. I threw up. I barely have any nails left. I scratched my skin raw. All that for that. Tony and I got into a fight yesterday. He said that I didn't care about Katie. That I never ask...
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sicpowered:
dearie, that guy is not worth your pain, not one bit of it. punishment is only for the guilty, and you need not punish yourself so...
I'm currently debating things in my head right now. This is gunna be the hardest thing for me. I love Tony so much, but this is too much for me to handle. I want him to be happy, but I know he'd be happier without me there. After this week I have to leave him. I know I promised I never would, but I can't...
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VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
requiem:
Wow. It seems like it's been months since the last time I read your journal. The only thing that's changed is now the guy has a name...
menotyou:
I've been bored alllll day.
Where are you? I need saving!
The Beast of Dull has been raping me all day.
Where are you? I need saving!
The Beast of Dull has been raping me all day.
How much pain exactly? (I am still an ink virgin and thinking about it...)