Okay, so this weekend was interesting. In a sense, I feel like a bitch...
Thursday: cleaned room. not a whole lot else. Tony came down. We basically watched Star Wars and then went to bed. I feel like a whore sometimes.
Friday: woke up. asked Tony to cuddle with me and he said he was getting up soon...basically a 'no'. took shower, came back to bed. Yelled at Tony for trying a comical way to get me out of bed. I felt bad about that but I felt like a whore. I went on most of the day kinda grouchy. We met up with Tiffany and some of her friends. Tony mentioned he knew Santa Rosa/Petaluma because of his last girlfriend in Santa Rosa...aka NOT me. No real acknowlegement on that end of the spectrum. So I got pissed at that. I was just emotional that day. Finally at the end of the night when I was starting to get out of my rut, Tony starts to go into his. We drive around Santa Rosa until Tony gets upset that there is nothing to do and we go home. As we go to bed I ask (yet again) if I can cuddle, and reluctantly he says fine. He didn't voluntarily touch me. And in the end I crawled back in my own bed. He said goodnight. I was almost balling by the time I responded back.
Saturday: woke up in a good mood. Tony woke up not in a bad mood but not in a good one either. We go to Sonoma and find presents for our mothers. Eat pizza in Santa Rosa (both in happy moods {YAY!}). Good moods until we get home. Not sure what to do. Lay down for a while in bed. Of course he doesn't touch me. Try to think of things to do but to no avail so we just yeah...and yeah. Go out to ice cream. Come back. He leaves.
"I'm reaching out for something/touching nothings all I ever do/ I softly call you over/you appear there's nothing left of you..."
"Ball Room Blitz" -Crucial Taunt-
I know that this is also my fault. I can't expect him to have sex with me and for it to be all jolly...ESPECIALLY when I know he doesn't want to date me. I could say 'no' and we could just be friends. The only thing I want is to be able to touch him and kiss him while in private. But that's not acceptable. I would feel so much less of a slut if I could show more affection before or after fucking. We did have a conversation about how women view sex and how men view it. I'm just a good friend and on top of that I happen to be a good fuck. To me: he's my ideal. My first. Well that's all. I'm gunna see what Dani is doing tonight...maybe I'll drive down to Ukiah tonight...
Thursday: cleaned room. not a whole lot else. Tony came down. We basically watched Star Wars and then went to bed. I feel like a whore sometimes.
Friday: woke up. asked Tony to cuddle with me and he said he was getting up soon...basically a 'no'. took shower, came back to bed. Yelled at Tony for trying a comical way to get me out of bed. I felt bad about that but I felt like a whore. I went on most of the day kinda grouchy. We met up with Tiffany and some of her friends. Tony mentioned he knew Santa Rosa/Petaluma because of his last girlfriend in Santa Rosa...aka NOT me. No real acknowlegement on that end of the spectrum. So I got pissed at that. I was just emotional that day. Finally at the end of the night when I was starting to get out of my rut, Tony starts to go into his. We drive around Santa Rosa until Tony gets upset that there is nothing to do and we go home. As we go to bed I ask (yet again) if I can cuddle, and reluctantly he says fine. He didn't voluntarily touch me. And in the end I crawled back in my own bed. He said goodnight. I was almost balling by the time I responded back.
Saturday: woke up in a good mood. Tony woke up not in a bad mood but not in a good one either. We go to Sonoma and find presents for our mothers. Eat pizza in Santa Rosa (both in happy moods {YAY!}). Good moods until we get home. Not sure what to do. Lay down for a while in bed. Of course he doesn't touch me. Try to think of things to do but to no avail so we just yeah...and yeah. Go out to ice cream. Come back. He leaves.
"I'm reaching out for something/touching nothings all I ever do/ I softly call you over/you appear there's nothing left of you..."
"Ball Room Blitz" -Crucial Taunt-
I know that this is also my fault. I can't expect him to have sex with me and for it to be all jolly...ESPECIALLY when I know he doesn't want to date me. I could say 'no' and we could just be friends. The only thing I want is to be able to touch him and kiss him while in private. But that's not acceptable. I would feel so much less of a slut if I could show more affection before or after fucking. We did have a conversation about how women view sex and how men view it. I'm just a good friend and on top of that I happen to be a good fuck. To me: he's my ideal. My first. Well that's all. I'm gunna see what Dani is doing tonight...maybe I'll drive down to Ukiah tonight...
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
Yr boy sounds like kind of an asshole, but then it's hard to know what's really going on...
It's true that men and women want different things from each other... I always think When Harry Met Sally is particularly eloquent in this regard. Seriously. The scene when they've first had sex and Meg Ryan is clinging to Billy Crystal and beaming happily whilst Billy stares in horror at the ceiling... that shot alone speaks volumes about inter-gender relations. I've been there many times.
Remember, there's not necessarily anything wrong with being a whore, but only if you want it...
PS - Is this the 'best friend' you were talking about last week, the one I asked you to describe on the grounds that it would 'make you smile'? Oops, sorry!
[Edited on May 09, 2004 10:51AM]
Second, he's obviously a dumb fuck and doesn't know a good thing when it hits him. It's his loss.
Third, you can't possibly be blamed for wanting sex after watching Star Wars! That's like Geek Spanish Fly!