Having nothing to gnaw on in my cage I absently began to chew on nothing. I ground my teeth and chewed on air with my my snout skyward and my eyes wide. SuddenlyI felt something between my teeth. I clenched and pulled and then a light erupted in my face. I fell back in awe as I realized I had chewed a hole in the space time continuum. A great wind suddenly erupted and woodchips flew everywhere. I was in the center of a storm of chips, pellets and turds. My water bottle fell from the corner of my cage and burst open spewing its contents upon me, I clawed desperately away from the gateway but to no avail for I was sucked into the unending abyss of space and time. There I floated weightless in the audient void for time unmeasurable. Millenia passed as I swam through the lightless gulf until I came upon a gateway hovering in the void. I entered only to find my self back in my cage. Everything was in order and there was even a great green stalk of celery waiting beside my pellet bowl. I thought I was home until a dreadful realization came over me. As I stared into my reflection on the glass water bottle I realized I only had two eyes instead of a thousand. 
germany:
sounds like a rough night... slow down on the fungus intake