last week still seems like a dream to me. I looked forward to doing something like this sonce I first starting my hopeful journey.
@lilymai is an amazing rockstar! she organized the entire week while in the UK. she picked out the most amazing house I've ever seen! it was 9 bedrooms and 9 1/2 baths. it was something that you would see on MTV. seriously. I can only imagine how stressful it must have been, and thank you is totally not enough for this opportunity you made possible for all of us.
there were sooooo many ladies!!
@disco @deringinge @aerie @gemmaedwardsuk @aniston @eirenne @wolfling @persephane @azera @fresa @maud @vaness @crypticheart @prettyneurotic @roxas @titan_ @coralia
(I really hope I included everyone)
i have really bad social anxiety so some nights it got extremely overwhelming for me. just being in a house full of about 18 ladies was a giant step for me! I'm very proud of myself for overcoming some of my anxiety. I will admit that some nights in the beginning of the week, I had to get to bed bc I couldn't calm my anxiety. I'm sure no one noticed, but I'm missing from a lot of group photos because I just couldn't handle it. I was fighting off panic attacks the first couple nights. @fresa had a condo and I knew I could stay there if I needed to but I knew if I left that my anxiety wouldn't get any better. I knew I had to stick it out. I didn't want to regret not trying. I did a lot better when it was groups of three or smaller.
I don't even know where to begin to describe my week! I guess I'll start with the first picture I have saved on my phone.
@deringinge had these awesome undies! she is a really awesome lady! I loved listening to her stories of all the animals she used to work with, and how different the UK is from here. I also got a cute bts pic of her shooting with @azera 😊
@eirenne is so sweet and so beautiful! sometimes I got overwhelmed and I would look over and she just had the sweetest smile. it put me at ease and it was super easy to talk to her. she shot a really steamy set with @aniston, the hot tub wasn't heated but I'm pretty sure they heated it up after that set. aniston needs to be pink for multiple reasons, and once she is that multi needs to grace member review. holy cow
speaking of @aniston! this chick is so awesome! everyone was so beautiful inside and out.
with my anxiety being as bad as it was, I was so happy to see @azera bring her cute puppies!! it was extremely therapeutic for me. it made me miss my pups however. I had to FaceTime my cuties
I also had the amazing opportunity to meet @maud!!! this woman!! I mean I can't say enough positive things about her. her positive energy was so contagious! I shot with her and I'm so excited about it. she was so positive and encouraging while shooting. I think it showed in my smile (: here's a back of the camera shot!!
@titan_ was awesome enough to shoot a few instax of me while we were shooting!
I really hope to see this lady again! Edit: I completely forgot to say how much I enjoyed quoting the office with her! it always makes me super happy when I meet someone who can quote the office as regularly as I do, which is constantly. what a beautiful soul.
speaking of beautiful souls, @disco is awesome! I shot some bts shots of her shooting. she completely understood my anxiety struggles and it made it easy for me to connect with her. she's so fun and so cute! ❤️
Edit: I also completely forgot to add how much I loved @aerie! one night when my anxiety was not as bad, after I had told her I was a little overwhelmed being around so many people, she hung out with me a little off to the side so it wouldn't be so overwhelming for me. it was super sweet! it meant a lot to me and we talked for quite a while. the only picture I have of me and her is a face swap 😭
on Friday, @disco @titan_ and myself decided to take a trip to Disney!!! I'm a huge child so I was so happy to be in Disney. we decided to go to magic kingdom bc incidentally it was all of our favorites. we literally spent 12 hours in magic kingdom! riding almost all the rides, seeing all of the characters we wanted, taking loads of pictures, seeing fireworks and of course stretching our phone batteries for as long as we could!
@titan_ said it best in one of her Instagram posts, it was really awesome to end the week in magic kingdom listening to how dreams come true if you wish hard enough. it's totally true. that week had been a dream of mine for quite sometime, I'd wish for the confidence in myself to just grab onto my dream and hold on for dear life. I'm really proud of myself for everything I accomplished. it may seem minuscule to others, but for me it was as if I climbed a huge mountain that was standing in front of me.
watching the group of girls in the house dwindle down was really bittersweet. I was partially mad at myself for allowing my anxiety to eat me alive for the first few days, I was sad that this amazing week had to come to an end, but I was also happy. happy that I had this opportunity to begin with but also happy to get home to my lady.
it was really sad watching everyone go their separate ways but I look forward to the next time I get to see some of these ladies!! ❤️❤️❤️
there are so many memories and so much that happened! it was really awesome to see all these ladies in action whether they were the photographer or the model. I've learned so much about myself and all the woman that were there!
if I missed anyone in the group tag, please let me know so I can inude them ❤️❤️
