I've had a really tough week this week. reality definetely smacked me in the face with a brick after what was an amazing weekend.
Monday afternoon, my girlfriend and I were both hit with some terrible news. her best friend from high school committed suicide, and my aunt died. (please forgive me being so cut and dry when it comes with death, I try to avoid euphemisms. I think it's best to be open and honest about death, it's a part of life that we all have to accept eventually.)
I want to take a moment to talk about my aunt sissy. she was my moms older sister, she called her sissy which lead to my sister and me calling her aunt sissy. she was a firecracker of a woman! strong willed, independent...truly a force to be reckoned with. she, like my mother, was not afraid to speak her mind. unlike my mother, she was unapologetic about who she was! not really realizing it until she's gone, but she definetely had a very large influence on my younger years.
being the firecracker that she was, I have so many fond memories of just smiling and laughing with her. my mom would tell me stories of how they would go goodwill "shopping", which consisted of my aunt holding my mom by her ankles in the goodwill bins, my mom grabbing bags of clothes, going back to my aunts house where she would pick out what she wanted and they process would start over after dropping off the original bag on unwanted clothes! (this story always keeps me laughing because I can just picture their younger selves doing all of these shenanigans)
there was also a story that I used to hear over and over in the car with her as we drove through her oldcountry town. after the 4 or 5 time hearing it, I would just giggle and finish out her story for her. I'm going to miss hearing it now. it was about this field of strawberries by her house. strawberries are really common in this part of Louisiana, especially being just a few towns over from the strawberry festival. back in the day, it was a tiny country town so there were a lot of farm animals. my aunt had a rooster that would always go next door and eat the neighbors strawberries! I would always hear this story and how she would run behind her house and hide so she couldn't get in trouble with my maw maw. you sometimes forget that life is so fragile and short, that you sometimes blow off stories from relatives that you've heard a million times. once they are gone though, you can never hear them again. I really regret not listening that last time she told that story. going to the strawberry festival this weekend for my birthday will be very bittersweet for me. I'm hoping to find something to remind me of her while I'm there.
my aunt was cremated and I had debated for a few days if I wanted a portion of her cremains. I had the chance to view her Wednesday before she was cremated and after seeing her face, I didn't want her to leave. all these memories came flooding back to me and I couldn't let her go. I decided that I wanted a piece of her. I don't have much money being in school, so I went to a local craft store to find a keepsake urn of my own and I found this
it's absolutely perfect. I will most likely sprinkle her cremains by her mom and dad eventually, but for now I'll be happy to have her close by for awhile. maybe having her close will remind me to be strong like she was and to be a strong force in the world. or maybe she will remind me to always find the good in situations and to always laugh. either way, I know she'll teach me a lesson even in death.
we (my girlfriend and I) spent our entire Friday going from one funeral to another, crying almost all day. it's been an exhausting week. I'm glad we survived it. I'm sorry if I put a damper on your weekend after reading this but I had to get it off of my chest. I tried to give a small eulogy at my aunts services but I'm terrible at forming sentences when my emotions are on high. thank you for reading this and I hope you always listen to your crazy relatives and their repetitive stories. hold onto everyone important in your life, because life is really fragile and short. you have no idea how much time you have with someone. ❤️
