orphne

Yeah, basically feeling pretty down. It's always the same shit. I have no friends in Edinburgh, I'm lonely, I have very little going on in my life to look forward to. Don't get me wrong, I love being Lani's mom, but it can get pretty tedious caring for a baby everyday.

My husband and his mate recently opened their own Bicycle Repair Shop and now he works all the time. I mean, I understand as it's a new business and they have to work hard to be successful, but it's just so much time I spend just me + Lani and usually Ry's Nana...

And that's the other thing. We moved in with Ryan's grandparents recently, as his grandad is ill and they needed the support. It's only a temporary thing, and it's helpful to us too while the business is growing... but it's also really stressful to me. I don't like living in someone else's space. I like to do things my own way, etc. But here.. I can't. There is always someone in my business 24/7. And I'm used to living on my own, before moving to Scotland I had my own place. Just me and the dogs. I miss Tucson so much.

And I sort of hate the UK. I mean, I don't hate everything. There are lots of things I really like, but I miss home so much. I just wish I had a few good, soild friends here. People I could text out of the blue to meet up. People who wanted to lay in the back garden with me or go to the botanics on a lazy sunday and who didn't mind that I have a 9 month old baby.

But I'm almost 27. And I'm starting to think I am too old to have started my life completely over in a new country....

Oh and on top of that, Ryan and I were meant to be starting a t-shirt/clothing venture together but he's become to busy with his bike shop that it's been pretty much abandoned for the time being.

The only thing I have right now is yoga, and I am thankful for that. My practice is getting a lot stronger and bringing some peace to my life, so not everything is bad.

I know not many people will read this, but at least it's a place to vent.