Our afternoon cookout only happened with one of the couples (tall, skinny, blond and her husband). The other couple cancelled. So we head over with grill fixins and limoncillo (sp?). My puerto-rican roommate showed me how to make it...basically, bacardi, crystal light lemonade, and water. I love sweet drinks that don't overwhelm you with alcohol taste.
So it was a lazy Sunday just spent eating and relaxing. We also found out that the married guy friend didn't come because he was upset at finding out that his wife of a few months has been spending the night over some man's house for 3 weeks now. I do feel really bad for him but several people that know of his situation feel that he brought it on himself because he knew the kind of woman he was marrying since they'd had a previous relationship, where they were enaged, he left for basic training, and she ended up getting pregnant by another man. I don't know...I just think its a sad situation all around but esp. for that child.
My mother and I talked again briefly and she told me that I need to focus more on my family. She said that since there is no hate or infidelity btwn my husband and I that withholding the 'wifely duties' doesn't seem fair. That since I love him, I shouldn't treat him like that. I told her I didn't want to lead him on b/c of course I love him but it would be intimacy for the sake of intimacy not b/c I wanted to reconcile and everything I'd been going through has suddenly disappeared. She said that I wasn't doing right by him by withholding. So I allowed him to be 'affectionate' last night and I have a bad feeling about it now. Its still clear to me that my feelings are the same and I do feel like that led him on.
So it was a lazy Sunday just spent eating and relaxing. We also found out that the married guy friend didn't come because he was upset at finding out that his wife of a few months has been spending the night over some man's house for 3 weeks now. I do feel really bad for him but several people that know of his situation feel that he brought it on himself because he knew the kind of woman he was marrying since they'd had a previous relationship, where they were enaged, he left for basic training, and she ended up getting pregnant by another man. I don't know...I just think its a sad situation all around but esp. for that child.
My mother and I talked again briefly and she told me that I need to focus more on my family. She said that since there is no hate or infidelity btwn my husband and I that withholding the 'wifely duties' doesn't seem fair. That since I love him, I shouldn't treat him like that. I told her I didn't want to lead him on b/c of course I love him but it would be intimacy for the sake of intimacy not b/c I wanted to reconcile and everything I'd been going through has suddenly disappeared. She said that I wasn't doing right by him by withholding. So I allowed him to be 'affectionate' last night and I have a bad feeling about it now. Its still clear to me that my feelings are the same and I do feel like that led him on.
clearly you have a strong bond between yourself adn your family (mother) but and i say this including myself someone else's advice will usually never fell quite as right as what you want/need to do.
your path is differnt, go your own way.