orko27

OK, so I was reading the boards and there was a thread about why some people who are attractive to a majority of the populace would consider themselves ugly or unattractive.

What was concluded in the thread was mildly obvious, but it made me think about my own self-image. When I was growing up, pretty much from the time that my peers started noticing and commenting on physical attractiveness up until the end of high school and a bit after, I was always the awkward geeky guy who always got complimented for the more ephemeral characteristics, such as humor and intelligence, and never on physical attractiveness. This led to a pretty strong image of myself as a, at best, physically plain or, more likely, unattractive person. It has taken years upon years of receiving compliments, both directly and indirectly, for me to have some inkling that I'm a pretty good-looking guy. I have come to accept this on an intellectual level, but I am far from comfortable with it. I still feel like I'm awkward, geeky and unattractive, regardless of the evidence. Thinking of myself any other way always feels forced, superficial and unwarrantedly arrogant.

So, there's nothing really useful in this post, but typing it out has definitely helped me congeal my thoughts.