originalzombee

i'm getting to the point where i'm just stuck.
i have my job, which is wonderful (and a really sweet boss)
i still need a place to live.
i had one for a few days, but i think my shyness and my akwardness made them not like me.
i dunno.
ugh.
i didn't even have time to adjust to being there.
and they didn't take the time to adjust to me.
or to even know me.
whatever.
i've been kind of fighting with someone i care about a lot latley. so that has me feeling really down.
i finally sort of got my feelings out to the guy i like and....
no go.
my ex is being a dick to me.
out of nowhere.
my dad is sick again, and back in the hospital.
and i am without a home.

days like this make me wonder why i'm alive.
i don't mean that in the "i want to kill myself" sort of way.
i mean it in the "life fucking sucks, if a bus hit me, i don't think i'd be too upset" sort of way.

work on monday. i wish i had it today. it provides a nice distraction.

my brain is mud.

i don't know what he wants from me persay.

or anyone what anyone else wants.

i get this all around feeling of "not good enough" from everyone.

i think i have this personality flaw that i just don't see. and i think its why everyone seems to get so frustrated with me.

wtf is wrong with me?

i need stability.