So something I don't actually describe in detail very often...
It was March 2010. I still thought of my government as the good guys. I still thought my country was the shining city on the hill. I still thought the other countries on the earth just wanted to be like us. Yeah, I was stupid back then.
Anyway, March 2010. Don't remember the exact day because I lost some time there. I had been deployed to southern Iraq for 11 months already. I was on a detail that was wrapping up their mission at one FOB (Forward Operating Base) and setting up at a different COS (Contingency Operating Site). Honestly, I think both names mean the same thing, just one sounds more like a conquering army and the other sounds like a support team.
Close operations at one and build operations at the other from scratch. When not working, there was chow time, sleeping, and gym. I was in so much better shape back then. My buddy and I were on night shift. After work, we went to the gym. He had been introducing me to free weights, and on opposite days I had been introducing him to biking. I regularly was riding 30-50 miles back then.
Our workout for the morning (our night) was complete. He ran ahead to grab some breakfast sandwiches and I hung back to grab some extra bottles of water so we wouldn't need to go out in the sun during our sleep schedule. It was about 4am or so. Sun wouldn't be up for at least 2 1/2 hours yet.
I could barely see my friend come out of the chow tent, but only because of the spotlights. Maybe a little more than half a football (american) field away. I saw it before I heard it. Felt it before I heard it. You know in the movies of medieval time, when the trebuchets and catapults snap, that sound, when they fire. Heard that. Or something like it. Didn't really know what it was I heard, but I heard it. Then this thing falls out of the sky and lands at the edge of the spotlight. Mostly white, duct tape, and some kind of cylinder things attached.
It's funny the details we remember more and more clear as time goes on. The brain fills in the gaps that you didn't actually see to help the events make sense. I still remember the look on my best friend's face when he sees it land. I couldn't possibly of seen the look that far away, but I remember it. He drops the sandwiches and turns trying to dash for one of the shelters that were created all over the place just for events like this. I just stood there. Frozen. The 2nd time in that deployment that I locked up. The first is a different story.
I still see it in my dreams. The explosion goes in slow motion, just like the movies. I play it frame-by-frame. The force hits me and throws my body like my 230lbs (at the time) is nothing at all. Then I feel the heat wave. Finally I hear it. I open my eyes and I stand up. I don't know how long I was out. But no one has responded yet, so can't have been long. There are people all over the place. There are screams and crying, and I'm laughing. I don't know why. I tell myself to stop, but I can't, and I'm doubled over...laughing. I look around and training kicks in. I start going to people laying around and evaluating them. I'm certified Combat Lifesaver. I can evaluate, stabilize, do basic treatments, and put people into the recovery position. Actual medics and doctors and nurses can save their lives. Couple were missing an arm or a leg, or maybe just a foot. It's not like Forrest Gump. I'm not trying to find Bubba. I forget about my best friend. That required a different kind of head-shrinking treatment. All I know is I've got work to do and my head is pounding. I can't really see straight, but I've got work to do.
I won't know for several hours that my best friend is gone. I won't know that my skull has a crack running down it for 2 days. In that moment, all I know is excruciating pain.......... and I've got work to do.
Took a lot of therapy, but I've pieced together most of what happened that day. I'll never know what is actually true and what my brain is filling in the gaps on. I broke a wall that was roughly 11 ft tall and two feet thick. I didn't just break it, I shattered it, with my body. It was likely weakened by the very forces that picked my body up in the first place. My head came into contact with it at some point, as that was how my skull got cracked.
Anyway. I always remember it and play it all in my head every single time I have a migraine. Had one today. It sucked. Excruciating Pain.
