orev

Right. So. I have been in the bar/restaurant/service business for quite a few years now. Now, I consider myself to be QUITE a patient person. But there are just some things I have seen over the years that irk me!!! We'll call this A Server's Rant..

-Please do not act annoyed and call me over to your table like you are in some big rush and then when I get there not be ready to order AT ALL, therefore holding me in this awkward place standing at your table and preventing me from giving attention to my other tables.
-Unless you are drinking coffee or alcohol you do not need to order two drinks at the same time. Why do you need a Coke AND a water? Seriously.
-I get that your kids are super obnoxious and you're going to rip your hair out if you don't get a break, but this whole parents and kids at separate tables thing need to stop. I am your server, not your babysitter.
-I don't care if you're foreign, you need to follow the tipping customs for the country that you are in at that moment.
-Pens are like gold in restaurants, and if I catch you stealing one of mine I will not hesitate to chase you through the parking lot.
-I'm all about left-overs, but taking home the free rolls and salad that come with your lunch is tacky. Resist.
-Please do not take it out on me that your food came out cold/burnt/gross/etc. I understand that I am the one you are dealing with directly, but I am not the one who cooked your food and unless you want to give me the okay to taste it before bringing it over to you there is no way for me to know there was something wrong with it. Let's just discuss this calmly and I'm sure there is a much less dramatic solution we can come to.
-I very much appreciate you trying to help me out with your little stack of plates, but please don't turn it into this tower that is doomed to fall over as soon as I touch it. Big plates on the bottom people.
-Never EVER take something off my tray. Loading and unloading trays is all about balance, and the order I am taking your drinks off in is very strategic. So unless you want 5 beers in your lap, let me do my job.
-No you can not split your bill into 6 different checks. I get that you all have company credit cards but running 6 cards on one bill is just as efficient and way easier.
-Please just sit where you're sat. I know you want the booth or the window or whatever, but understand you are messing up the entire server rotation when you insist on seating yourself.
-If something is wrong with your meal tell me. Please don't just leave me a crappy tip and assume I know why. Because I don't. And in fact, I'm actually just going to assume it's because you're a bad tipper.
-Restaurants run out of things. Shocking, I know, but believe it or not we do not have an endless supply of everything we need. I know it's annoying you can't get your first choice, but work with me here.
-If quite a few of you need something (drink refills, more napkins, etc) I would appreciate it if you could try and ask me all at once instead of running me back and forth asking me for one item at a time.
-Refrain from any snapping, whistling, clapping, clucking, or any sounds of that sort to get your server's attention. A simple "Excuse me" will suffice.
-If you have a gift card to cover part of the bill, you need to tip on the entire bill, not what the remainder was after you used your gift card.
-Please let me at least get out a "Hello" and my name before you cut me off yelling for drinks and free rolls. Deep breath, calm down.
-If you don't know anything about beer don't just take a shot in the dark and pick the one your finger lands on and then send it back because you don't like it. Either ask for a suggestion, ask for a taste, or just order something you have the slightest bit of knowledge about.


I'm pretty sure I could go on and on. And will probably continue thinking of things I forgot to put on here. But it's late and I need some sleep. Let me know if you have anything to add!