orehitna

i just quit my job.
i haven't really slept in days.
i'm half way done jpod. and i just started it tonight.
i just emailed my mom for the first time in a month.
i'm applying to work for an advertising / marketing company.
i'm falling apart mentally, even though everyone thinks i'm already mostly insane.

they say most people with insomnia just never really...
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i don't really have much to talk about right now. i just realized i said it was sunday on monday, hahahaha.

i always want to ask questions, just don't where to begin.

sunday.
rehab check in.

wait. no.

i've only been drinking non-stop for four days. surprisingly, i'm not hungover at all. my cold has disappeared. i'm pretty sure that shit is supposed to go the other way. in the sense that i should be death and dying or a zombie or some other kind of amusing shit that would make people read this and laugh themselves...
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saturday.
blog.
right, time to right in it. i still hate the abbreviation 'blog.' it's a fucking journal. hell, i'd go far enough and slap diary all over. i know where the name comes from, but it just sounds dumb.

i'm hung over.
which should hopefully soon turn into
i'm drunk.

i probably said some things last night i shouldn't have, and did other things...
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As several people already know, but probably no one that will read this, I never went to university or any form of post secondary. I probably could have made it in, but I decided I was going to do that 'one year off' to figure 'shit out.' well, that was over three years ago. I still don't know what I want to do. I'm torn...
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It's been a long time. But I'm back. It's July 31st. I should be working. As you can probably guess, I am not.

A lot happens in 10, or 11 months.

Go figure.

i feel as if everything has been said, and done before. there is nothing creative, nothing refreshing, nothing simply new. i know this has been said before, and it furthers my feelings. everything is reflection of the past in some way. its derived from inspiration, and influences, but are we merely just combining all these things to create something new? i have nothing to add...
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I leave to victoria for 10 days next wednesday. It should be exciting, since I only know one person out there.

Then I come back and hopefully quit my job. Even a disgruntled employee can be a workaholic, but the job's getting to me way too much.

ever felt like you just don't want to bother with social graces any more? like going out and partying or whatever just loses all it's luster, but you do it because it's expected of you, and people depend on you to go out, and all of the sudden you no longer have any will at all?

that's how i feel.

my english muffins were good...
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i'm eating english muffins.
or whatever you call these.
i was disappointed to learn, due to a lack of egg paste and sausage patties, i would be unable to make a sausage n egg mcmuffin.

however depressing that knowledge was, life goes on

have you ever felt like you have nothing interesting to say, only because you're not sure how to say it?

that's how i feel.