I'm going to try and blog while I have breakfast.
Another friend of mine ended a relationship. 9 years together and they cut it off. Its so sad. Good olde facebook huh?
I'm getting so sick of doing nothing here, I'm actually thinking about just going downtown and wandering around by myself. I won't drink. I'm actually thinking about never drinking again. It just leads to low thoughts and temporary distractions. Same with pot. I'm out for now.... but I'd like to keep doing that. I have no desire to get high.... I just want it around for when I do.
I'm not feeling the way i expected to feel when I moved here. Which is good. I mean... somethings have gone as expected but not everything.
My heart still hurts. I am on the up as I'm not thinking about 'her' as much. I really hate that date friday. I'm so angry at that girl. Another week and I can politely remove her from my MSN & facebook.
I'm running out of reserves. I'm really thinking of just driving around and finding her car and knocking on the house its parked in front of. Stalker huh? The crazy thing is I think I could get her address through less happenstance methods.... I need closure that bad. I need to know that when I'm feeling better she's not going to turn me on my head. I'm feeling better again which concerns me because I think she'll turn me upside down again. However, the further away my heart moves away from her... the more I miss her... the more I want her back. Its probably best that she is ignoring me. Its not that I want to freak out on her... I just want to communicate. Get her to understand that...
Every song on the radio makes me think of her........
In other news:
I heard that they've developed a way to create sperm cells from stem cells. With our current technology in stem cells; you could take a skin cell, turn it into a stem cell and then to a sperm cell. That means.... women could potentially impregnate themselves with their own DNA.... CRAZY!
I really hate driving to work in Toronto. Whenever I signal to change a lane people speed up to pass me when its unnecessary. Its adding to my unhappiness. It just shows just how really alone you are.
Where I work (in Vaughn) its full of beautiful well looked after women. I went to Vaughn Mills (a huge mall) and everyone there is beautiful and well groomed. Lots of ladies driving expensive cars spending their husbands/fathers money while they shop.... while they work.
You know... I use to wanted to be one of those husbands. I think I need to give up again. Things happen when I give up.
However.... I want to give up too... I'm so exhausted. I have so little tolerance for crap in my life that I know something retarded will push me over... and I feel like its only going to get worse.
Another friend of mine ended a relationship. 9 years together and they cut it off. Its so sad. Good olde facebook huh?
I'm getting so sick of doing nothing here, I'm actually thinking about just going downtown and wandering around by myself. I won't drink. I'm actually thinking about never drinking again. It just leads to low thoughts and temporary distractions. Same with pot. I'm out for now.... but I'd like to keep doing that. I have no desire to get high.... I just want it around for when I do.
I'm not feeling the way i expected to feel when I moved here. Which is good. I mean... somethings have gone as expected but not everything.
My heart still hurts. I am on the up as I'm not thinking about 'her' as much. I really hate that date friday. I'm so angry at that girl. Another week and I can politely remove her from my MSN & facebook.
I'm running out of reserves. I'm really thinking of just driving around and finding her car and knocking on the house its parked in front of. Stalker huh? The crazy thing is I think I could get her address through less happenstance methods.... I need closure that bad. I need to know that when I'm feeling better she's not going to turn me on my head. I'm feeling better again which concerns me because I think she'll turn me upside down again. However, the further away my heart moves away from her... the more I miss her... the more I want her back. Its probably best that she is ignoring me. Its not that I want to freak out on her... I just want to communicate. Get her to understand that...
Every song on the radio makes me think of her........
In other news:
I heard that they've developed a way to create sperm cells from stem cells. With our current technology in stem cells; you could take a skin cell, turn it into a stem cell and then to a sperm cell. That means.... women could potentially impregnate themselves with their own DNA.... CRAZY!
I really hate driving to work in Toronto. Whenever I signal to change a lane people speed up to pass me when its unnecessary. Its adding to my unhappiness. It just shows just how really alone you are.
Where I work (in Vaughn) its full of beautiful well looked after women. I went to Vaughn Mills (a huge mall) and everyone there is beautiful and well groomed. Lots of ladies driving expensive cars spending their husbands/fathers money while they shop.... while they work.
You know... I use to wanted to be one of those husbands. I think I need to give up again. Things happen when I give up.
However.... I want to give up too... I'm so exhausted. I have so little tolerance for crap in my life that I know something retarded will push me over... and I feel like its only going to get worse.