Hi, hey, HELLO!
I think I've been on a hectic acid trip for the past 3 months 😱 Last time we spoke I was in a really bad place emotionally. My partner and baby daddy left, I was struggling with that and adjusting to my new single mother role. I'll be honest my life has been anything but graceful and I do wish I had of dealt with my pain perhaps a little more maturely! But we live and we learn 😜😂 I can safely say during these past 3 months I have learnt more about myself then I ever thought possible and for that, I am so fucking grateful!
So what the hec have I been up to!?!? Well dating, lots of it. I've always been in relationships, since I was 14 I have had back to back relationships. Until I was 18 then I got married (divorced now, fucking LOL!) but anyways, so this whole 'dating' thing is so fucking forign to me! I hadn't even had meaningless sex with someone!!!
So let's just dive straight in to Opheliah's sex life Hehehehe. So, the first guy I met was super lovely. I think if I had of written a letter to God with a detailed list of requirements for my soulmate, it would be this guy! ... Or so I thought! It's funny that sometimes you 'think' you know what you want, then the universe says here you go! Here's the key to your happiness! And you're like "ohh" like the orgasm that just never peaks HA! Like where's the fireworks!? .... So this guy was beautiful and spiritual and loved my daughter but there was just no 'spark' and perhaps a bit too emotional? Like we tried to have sex but he found me too intimidating so couldn't really 'preform'. Oh! And not to mention when he left he sent me all these horrible messages about what a nasty person I was all because I was honest and said I didn't want a relationship with him. Sigh. So that was traumatic.... This kind of threw me off a bit, because as I said this man was everything I thought I wanted and now that I had been given it, it just wasn't right. So I had the idea that if I was to have fucking great sex with someone, I would feel MUCH better 😂🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻
Man number 2! This man is, how can I say, well.... He's a man whore! Like, he has been following me on Instagram for a while now and I knew that he pretty much only wanted to fuck me so he could brag about it. Pretty gross right!? Men! HHAAHAHAHAHA sorry fellas. So, I decided to go on a date with said 'man whore'. He was exactly what I expected, and more. He picked me up from my house and the moment I got in his car I could feel the sexual tension. This man oozed sex appeal. He was crazy forward too, like he knew what he wanted and I actually thought he might eat me whole 😂🙈 😱😱😱 The idea was to have a movie date, but I can't remember the movie AT ALL! We fucked in the cinemas and on the side of the road before he dropped me home. It was wild to say the least!
Now, I should have left it at that. Great spontaneous sex. Never see him again Buuuuut I didn't, stupid me got emotionally invested. Ridiculous right, like I knew that this man would never want to date me and duuude we have like NOTHING in common. Zilch. But a part of me wanted to feel 'worthy' of more, we had sex a couple more times but it just wasn't the same 😞😒 it just lacked real intimacy and connection... So here I was again, the Universe said "ok then Opheliah, so you think sex will make you happy!? Here you go..... Happy yet?" .... The answer. No... If anything, I felt worse. Much, worse.
Ahhhh so then came along Man number 3! Ok so this man has been a friend of mine for a very, very long time! I love him, I really do. He's gorgeous and smart and we can talk for hours and hours at a time. We have always been into each other but the timing was never quite 'right', until I guess now or more accurately about 6 weeks ago, when we first hooked up. He took me out to dinner, we had a quality conversation and at the end of the night we had sex. The sex was really sweet, gentle and I really, really liked it. He's seven years older then me so I think that helped. It felt like I was with a 'Man' hahah if that makes sense??! Three weeks later we decided to date each other and for a moment there I was really happy! Fucking finally I had someone who actually wanted more. Ha! Buuuuut.... This guy is intense, he's very self absorbed in his own life journey (which is totally fine!) but what really got to me is that he was so hard on himself and projected that onto me, and when he wanted to be cruel. Fuck me. He could be a real asshole... I'm a pretty easy person to judge, I'm naked on the internet for one! I got married at 18, I had a baby young and trust me I've made A BUTT LOAD of mistakes and this Man knew about it all and would always find a way to make me feel bad about it. He would call me unstable and tell me that he couldn't deal with it. So two days ago he broke up with me HA!
But my eyes are wide open now, because I know who I am. He doesn't. Please friends, listen to me. DO NOT EVER let somebody tell you who you are, YOU know who you are! That person isn't your past, it isn't how many times you fucked up, it isn't who you have or haven't slept with, it isn't your money or your clothes. You are YOU, you are priceless and you don't even have to try! Because the people or that one person who truely loves you won't give a FUCK about any of that shit. They will love you as you are, in this moment.
That's all I care about now, and in truth, if you can't embrace yourself and really love yourself how can you attract someone who loves you!? You can't.
So what now? I have no fucking idea. But I have this knew sense of inspiration, hahahah. I feel stronger. Bring on Man number 4!!! HAHAHAH jussst kidding 😅😜😜😜😜
But just for giggles, because my manifesting skills have been on point lately, if Man number four happens to be reading this 😜 And as we know the Universe is ALWAYS listening I'd like to attract a nice balanced Man, masculine and strong but also kind and compassionate. Great in bed and also a great listener. Someone who I can cuddle and feel completely secure with. Someone who will be dominant but not domineering. Someone who is Spiritual and artistic but also mature and level out my intense eccentric energy! So come one Universe, show me what you've got 😜😜😜🙌🏻✨✨✨
Oh gosh, I'm definitely ready to come back home to myself and settle down a bit. Enough life lessons I think! ...
Omg!! And guess what!? @exkyu and I have a set coming out in 3 days! What the fuck. Hah! This one really snuck up on me. Here's a sneak peak 🙏🏻✨💃😘
This is my favourite set, I think it's my 'sexiest' set yet. I really fucking hope it gets bought... Like seriously! This will be my tenth set so I'm aloud to sound desperate Hahah! 🙈😜🙌🏻
So thank you guys and gals for sticking with me for so long! I really appreciate your love, and messages and just your support means the world to me! I hope I'm not the only one who's having hopeless Single life dramas Hahahh! And I hope you guys can appreciate my honesty. My life isn't perfect 🙈🙈
God bless @missy @sean @lyxzen @rambo and everyone who makes this site possible
Enjoy some random selfies and new tattoos! The past 3 months have been a big tattoo fest! Lots of newbies 😍😍 .
Talk soon babes xxx
