Feeling kinda down and out lately. I don't even have a reason to feel this way. It's like my life is moving forward but my brain continues to try to drag me down and hold me back. I can't help but feel empty most of the time. It's like this cycle of work, eat, sleep, that never ends. I come home and feel like doing nothing. I don't really have anyone to talk to, unless my roommate is around or it's the weekened. I am trying my best to feel positive but I don't think I have ever felt this alone in my life.
Which is annoying because I am finally not really struggling with my anxiety disorder anymore. Sure, at work I get to see people and they are nice. But outside of work, trying to be social is hell. Most people take one look at me and never bother to speak to me. Kinda fed up with it. Am I really that uninviting? If I didn't forge the friendships I had now, years ago, I would be completely alone. It just seems like everyone around me gets social situations and I get tossed out or ignored. Unless it's nerd time.
Sometimes I wonder, why do I even bother? Maybe I should just live in a cave since so few people seem to care I exist at all.
Which is annoying because I am finally not really struggling with my anxiety disorder anymore. Sure, at work I get to see people and they are nice. But outside of work, trying to be social is hell. Most people take one look at me and never bother to speak to me. Kinda fed up with it. Am I really that uninviting? If I didn't forge the friendships I had now, years ago, I would be completely alone. It just seems like everyone around me gets social situations and I get tossed out or ignored. Unless it's nerd time.
Sometimes I wonder, why do I even bother? Maybe I should just live in a cave since so few people seem to care I exist at all.
leela:
and you were giving me shit on having more confidence today?? you do not need to live in a cave sir. hush your face. you're my friend, and we can wear super nerd capes and fly around not giving a fuck together. i have a few other people in my superhero nerd squad. its not quantity either, its quality. and most people are assholes, why would you wanna have a ton of new friends anyways lol. get a puppy! a pitbull <3 you knew id say that...