it's really cold outside. i can't sleep. i can't stop thinking about past events in my life i no longer have any control over. lost love. lost friends. lost hope. squandered potential.
i know it can't be normal to feel like there's no brighter future for me at age 28. there has to be some fight left in me, somewhere. some spark of defiance that won't allow me to just resign myself to existing in the manner i do right now for the rest of my life.
there has to be some hope, somewhere, right? this can't be all there is. am i really refusing to believe that, or am i in denial?
i need a change. what it is, i don't know. i wish i could figure it out for myself as easily as some seem to in their own lives. but for now i'm stuck.
maybe i'm just waiting 'til i hit bottom.
maybe i've read 'fight club' one too many times.
maybe i just need to get some decent fucking sleep, for once.
maybe i need help.
i know it can't be normal to feel like there's no brighter future for me at age 28. there has to be some fight left in me, somewhere. some spark of defiance that won't allow me to just resign myself to existing in the manner i do right now for the rest of my life.
there has to be some hope, somewhere, right? this can't be all there is. am i really refusing to believe that, or am i in denial?
i need a change. what it is, i don't know. i wish i could figure it out for myself as easily as some seem to in their own lives. but for now i'm stuck.
maybe i'm just waiting 'til i hit bottom.
maybe i've read 'fight club' one too many times.
maybe i just need to get some decent fucking sleep, for once.
maybe i need help.
vivadeath:
Women. Can't live with them, can't bury them in the back yard.
azrael_abyss:
YAY FOR JAX PEOPLE! I was just there for Thanksgiving.