i'm in a weird situation by my standards.
i'm really good friends with an ex for the first time in my life. when we hang out we still get along as well as when we were dating, just without all the extra-curricular stuff. most of the time, its good.
sometimes, it gets weird.
it seems like every time we talk or hang out now, she asks how things are going with my current girl. she didn't do this so much(or at all) til she found out i haven't heard from her in weeks on end.
however, she never mentions anything about the guy she's with now. of course, i don't ask, but this is turning some wheels in my mind- mostly because naturally, i still feel for her. i realize that and i can deal. it doesn't become a problem.
i don't think she and i had a real future as more than friends anyway but it's only natural to wonder 'what if,' right?
plus shes always doing things she used to do when we were going out. she has this thing about giving me love taps and grabbing my nipples and just playfully abusive shit. it annoys the piss out of me, but in that good way.
sunday is her birthday and i'd really like to hang out with her but he will be there, and i don't want to feel like the third wheel. i apologized and told her i couldn't go hang out with the two of them there, it would just feel weird and disrespectful.
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*flashback*
i've been invited to a party before with a past ex and her guy,and i went. it was just too much reality for me, especially because he didn't know i was an ex and i was getting pissed at how much of an asshole he was to her. i couldn't do or say anything because she didn't want him to find out she and i used to date and be jealous becuase he was an insecure prick. so you can see why i don't want to ever be in as fucked up a situation again.
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*back to the present dilemma*
aside from my own hang ups about it, i'm just putting myself in his shoes. i know i would have felt weird if one of her exes was hanging out with us while she and i were dating.
the funny thing is that she said even though she wanted me to hang, she'd feel a little weird too. this is the most understanding she's ever been about anything.
long story short, i begin to wonder if she's having second thoughts and keeping me near in case things work out for neither of us, or just being my friend and being understanding. i'm more willing to think the latter just to keep myself out of trouble. but this is all new to me so i don't know if this is just what normally happens.
maybe i'm just letting my mind run roughshod and need to go to bed. feel freee to slap me around a little. i kind of like it.
i'm really good friends with an ex for the first time in my life. when we hang out we still get along as well as when we were dating, just without all the extra-curricular stuff. most of the time, its good.
sometimes, it gets weird.
it seems like every time we talk or hang out now, she asks how things are going with my current girl. she didn't do this so much(or at all) til she found out i haven't heard from her in weeks on end.
however, she never mentions anything about the guy she's with now. of course, i don't ask, but this is turning some wheels in my mind- mostly because naturally, i still feel for her. i realize that and i can deal. it doesn't become a problem.
i don't think she and i had a real future as more than friends anyway but it's only natural to wonder 'what if,' right?
plus shes always doing things she used to do when we were going out. she has this thing about giving me love taps and grabbing my nipples and just playfully abusive shit. it annoys the piss out of me, but in that good way.
sunday is her birthday and i'd really like to hang out with her but he will be there, and i don't want to feel like the third wheel. i apologized and told her i couldn't go hang out with the two of them there, it would just feel weird and disrespectful.
____________________________________________
*flashback*
i've been invited to a party before with a past ex and her guy,and i went. it was just too much reality for me, especially because he didn't know i was an ex and i was getting pissed at how much of an asshole he was to her. i couldn't do or say anything because she didn't want him to find out she and i used to date and be jealous becuase he was an insecure prick. so you can see why i don't want to ever be in as fucked up a situation again.
______________________________________________
*back to the present dilemma*
aside from my own hang ups about it, i'm just putting myself in his shoes. i know i would have felt weird if one of her exes was hanging out with us while she and i were dating.
the funny thing is that she said even though she wanted me to hang, she'd feel a little weird too. this is the most understanding she's ever been about anything.
long story short, i begin to wonder if she's having second thoughts and keeping me near in case things work out for neither of us, or just being my friend and being understanding. i'm more willing to think the latter just to keep myself out of trouble. but this is all new to me so i don't know if this is just what normally happens.
maybe i'm just letting my mind run roughshod and need to go to bed. feel freee to slap me around a little. i kind of like it.
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
stacie:
hmm.. i read the last person's comment and have to say i have some agree-ance with it.. friends dont really get hands on with each other. (unless you are 2 hot chicks in some man's fantasy).. Perhaps you should revisit the entire relationship with this girl.. were you good friends before you went to the next step? Was the break up amicable? warranted? Decide for yourself how you really feel about her... i think when you said that you don't feel that you 2 have a real future.. that you had made up your mind. Be friends if you can.. and if you are interested in more than that with her, ask her straight up what the deal is.. why she is being flirty, etc. If you aren't interested, maybe try to get across to her that being flirty/touchy, etc is not appropriate. Just try not to over think it too much.. 
stacie:
so tell her if she offered that up that you'll be her boy toy.. on your terms