onesecondmore

it's been 3 weeks since i heard from my girl. according to the last i had heard from her, she was without phone, and thus without internet, due to her mom getting rid of that phone line and not letting her use the main line.

i figure no problem, her mom's psychotic. the only reason she lives at home right now is financial, and the fact that to move in with me involves moving to FL from CT. neither she nor i can finance that. secondly, she wants to stay with the company she's with right now and there are no openings here.

but at this point i don't buy the excuse for being out of contact.

if i were in the same situation, i think i would find some way to stay in touch. maybe its just me being paranoid or down on my ability to keep a girlfriend, but it just doesn't seem right.

of course, when i call her mom's line, i get no answer, ever.

it will just suck if this is the send-off i get after five years of friendship with her and a year of trying this relationship thing. i'll be disappointed, but not surprised really. i've learned that no behavior is too shocking or out of character for anyone, anymore. people never cease to fail me or disappoint me with the level one can sink to.

maybe i shouldn't think the worst, but i'm just being realistic. we live in an age where one can be instantly connected to anyone else, at any time. she doesn't work for the gov't, isn't off fighting a war. she manages a hot topic, for fuck's sake. it ain't splitting atoms. buy a fucking phone card and call someone. borrow a friend's internet connection. that is, if it even matters to you in the first place.

or- at least have the decency to end things properly.

of course that's only what i'd do, if the person was as important to me as i say.

i guess i can only be patient, but i really needed to vent a little.