onesandzeros

Ahem.

Perception is an amazing, tricky little thing. Always slipping out of your conscious mind -- always making you forget all about it, and how shifting it is, how .. flexible, inconsistent, watery. But when you do grasp onto it, it's novel every single time, I swear. I do this too. I try to keep it on the tip of my tongue and roll it around every now & again. I scream at myself, Realign! Realign! Because I know it's just that matter of tilting your head, y'know? Focusing or unfocusing your eyes, seeing the picture in the empty space rather than the solids, etc.

I do this with my well-engrained processes sometimes for sport, or to be able to fend off the logic that I -haven't- given time to the other side of the coin. Good to stretch your mind to see the other side .. and come back. Good to move those muscles, even if you just come right back -- like your man-made versus nature. Every once in a while, you hit the park, take in a gust of wind as far as your lungs will let you, appreciate a sunrise .. and then snap back to exploring architecture and the sunlight I find so brilliant in and by itself .. only highlights your building. ;]

Now. Funny you should mention porn at all, but even funnier that you tie it to this site. As a girl, I think .. it gets really confusing, because the site has done well to sort of draw a big, fat line and make it a very cozy spot for girls to come and settle in, feel safe & secure .. blogging, making friends, and occasionally .. showing some T&A. What's weird is that .. I VERY seldom make a parallel with porn. And before this site, I had never -seen- .. pornographic material. Well, that is, until it showed up on my computer .. thanks to my [now-ex] boyfriend browsing while I was at work, unbeknownst to me. I found it and was FURIOUS and hurt, disgusted, just .. -completely- torn up and .. upset to the point where I hyperventilated and nearly broke up with him. We got past it but I wasn't over it for about a year. We dated for three years. I started the SG thing in the last year .. and I find irony in it, because I somehow still never made the porn connection, even .. when I was personally taking pictures.

I got so upset I nearly vomitted and ended a relationship over one website, and I stood behind this decision [because at the time, I fully agreed with what your friend was saying, and could explain why -- it is a confusing but very intimate betrayal and a girl feels she should be given a chance at those fantasies, and if porn is involved, both partners should be involved, -- the thought of you getting it on, so to speak, to another person .. is very disturbing, to us, and that's the infidelity] .. but then I was on this site, and like .. he didn't care, and I ..

Ugh, I don't know. So weird. But then again, I still wasn't watching videos or looking at anything crazy. Just using forums and blogging, and whatever everyone else was doing was kind of their business .. I guess was my thing.