I guess since I am approaching 2 months since my last blog I should write something. I guess it is the struggle right now. I work a rough job that does not pay well. I work in social services and knew it wouldn't pay well and money is not that important but having enough to live on and save a bit is nice. Not doing the saving thing right now.
And in my job I only deal with child abuse and some of it makes me want to start a death squad to deal with some of these sick fucks. Some bad shit happens to kids and you can see the kids that are done at an early age. Some of these kids will never recover. Sadly many of the parents we deal with grew up in the system and never did recover and the cycle continues. The job is a roller coaster and so I am on a roller coaster.
I have been drinking a bit much lately, this month being the worst in a while. I am still working out and eating right, I am just drinking a bunch of top of it.
I am still trying to get a federal job but if nothing is happening by the New Year I will go back to contracting. We will see how it plays out.
Went out with a girl a few weeks ago. I thought it went well, she had me in her place, we fooled around a bit, we talked on the phone and were supposed to do something again and then I heard nothing from her. I made efforts, called, texted, and nothing in return. Why do I hate dating? Bullshit.
The G20 is going on right now here in Pittsburgh. All I can hear are sirens and helicopters. I live in the city and the major protest is down at the bottom of the hill less than a mile from where I live. Tear gas and all that stuff has been going on. I have to work from home today and tomorrow because the feds took over our building. The G20 is a huge inconvenience for this city. You can barely get around the city as there are a ton of blockades and stuff.
Well that should do it for now I guess. I have put this video on here before but it is in line with how I feel right now: Eyehategod "Age of Bootcamp"
And in my job I only deal with child abuse and some of it makes me want to start a death squad to deal with some of these sick fucks. Some bad shit happens to kids and you can see the kids that are done at an early age. Some of these kids will never recover. Sadly many of the parents we deal with grew up in the system and never did recover and the cycle continues. The job is a roller coaster and so I am on a roller coaster.
I have been drinking a bit much lately, this month being the worst in a while. I am still working out and eating right, I am just drinking a bunch of top of it.
I am still trying to get a federal job but if nothing is happening by the New Year I will go back to contracting. We will see how it plays out.
Went out with a girl a few weeks ago. I thought it went well, she had me in her place, we fooled around a bit, we talked on the phone and were supposed to do something again and then I heard nothing from her. I made efforts, called, texted, and nothing in return. Why do I hate dating? Bullshit.
The G20 is going on right now here in Pittsburgh. All I can hear are sirens and helicopters. I live in the city and the major protest is down at the bottom of the hill less than a mile from where I live. Tear gas and all that stuff has been going on. I have to work from home today and tomorrow because the feds took over our building. The G20 is a huge inconvenience for this city. You can barely get around the city as there are a ton of blockades and stuff.
Well that should do it for now I guess. I have put this video on here before but it is in line with how I feel right now: Eyehategod "Age of Bootcamp"
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and some kids really do recover much later on - sometimes things dont change until many years into adulthood. so you can never be sure its a hopeless future.
i know it seems strange, like, who am i to be writing here trying to see those things from the bright side - hell im a real cynicist so if i were you i would probably be pretty damn disillusioned with the whole system. but still, those few cases where things do turn out for the better are what counts.
I hope it does to, if I even do it, I spent a lot of time and money on it, but now I dont even feel like I will want to leave the house, Im way to sad for all of that.