Separation - ws merwin
Your absence has gone through me
Like thread through a needle.
Everything I do is stiched with its color.
man i really wish i wrote that. so much in so little...
went to the bf's place last night...always nice to see him. i'm a lucky lucky girl.
do you ever just start missing people/things for no reason whatsoever? i don't mean like, oh yeah i miss them, but hardcore missing.
everytime i call home lately, it seems that everyone is there and they are all too busy to talk. it's loud, and they pass the phone around. both my sisters (twins) both had babies a little over a year ago, so they are always getting them to 'talk' on the phone. this makes me really really sad for some reason. i am SO happy that i left. but it's just odd to me. for the longest time, i have felt like i don't really have a 'home.' i mean, i don't even have 'my own room' anywhere anymore except this dorm room which i will be forced to leave in about two and a half weeks...
but i hear those little babies trying to form words like auntie (seriously, although it sounds like 'awee') i just miss home. not the room or house. but HOME.
it just made me realize the permanence of FEELING.
i don't know. maybe i'm sentimental. but i know that if you took away everything concrete to me, everything i have a proof of that seems to be permanent and real and directly palpable, that i have an equation for...it's not real. it's not permanent.
i don't have a house. i don't really have an apartment (subletting someone else). i don't have MY room.
but i have those i love. and therefore, i have a home.
it's ridiculous that i am just realizing this at this point in my life..
excuse my sentimentalism...i'm going to go get a beer now.
to all.
UPDATE: i just watched practical magic for the millionth time. i want that to be my life.
sigh.
-who's dancing with me at prom, btw?-
Your absence has gone through me
Like thread through a needle.
Everything I do is stiched with its color.
man i really wish i wrote that. so much in so little...
went to the bf's place last night...always nice to see him. i'm a lucky lucky girl.
do you ever just start missing people/things for no reason whatsoever? i don't mean like, oh yeah i miss them, but hardcore missing.
everytime i call home lately, it seems that everyone is there and they are all too busy to talk. it's loud, and they pass the phone around. both my sisters (twins) both had babies a little over a year ago, so they are always getting them to 'talk' on the phone. this makes me really really sad for some reason. i am SO happy that i left. but it's just odd to me. for the longest time, i have felt like i don't really have a 'home.' i mean, i don't even have 'my own room' anywhere anymore except this dorm room which i will be forced to leave in about two and a half weeks...
but i hear those little babies trying to form words like auntie (seriously, although it sounds like 'awee') i just miss home. not the room or house. but HOME.
it just made me realize the permanence of FEELING.
i don't know. maybe i'm sentimental. but i know that if you took away everything concrete to me, everything i have a proof of that seems to be permanent and real and directly palpable, that i have an equation for...it's not real. it's not permanent.
i don't have a house. i don't really have an apartment (subletting someone else). i don't have MY room.
but i have those i love. and therefore, i have a home.
it's ridiculous that i am just realizing this at this point in my life..
excuse my sentimentalism...i'm going to go get a beer now.
to all.
UPDATE: i just watched practical magic for the millionth time. i want that to be my life.
sigh.
-who's dancing with me at prom, btw?-
VIEW 22 of 22 COMMENTS
Re: your break-up song suggestsion: "Most of the Time"
Right on. I love that album, and especially that song. The chords just kind of wander under those lyrics of false assertion and denial, like it's a mantra he's repeating to himself.