So yesterday started off pretty normal. Besides the odd dreams of Pingz and I at a really awesome amusement park that doesn't exist. But the best part was you had to swim from the parking lot to the park. They also had paddle boats for those who couldn't or didn't want to swim.
Got to work, did my usual pretend to work routine. Chatted through IM and e-mails. Then 3 p.m. rolls around and my boss gets in this tizzy cause she has a mediation today and hadn't done her position paper (due a week ago) and a suit prescribes (expires) on Monday if we don't get the petition in and it hadn't been started yet. So she gets in her whirlwind and has every secretary drop what they're doing and work on her shit. Now mind you, she's been here 9-6 everyday. But she'd rather flit around the office and chit chat, or read the newspaper, or talk to her friends instead of actually sitting and doing work. Which then rolls to me and gives me something to do besides surf the internets or do homework all day. Which I don't mind, but I'd rather be productive than bored and stressed at last minute rushes.
So I get home and as I turn to get in my driveway I notice a big ass Mazda MPV van parked across the entrance to my driveway. I look around for the owner, no one in site. I call the police and they since it isn't stolen and it's on private property they can't help. So I proceed to call every tow truck company in the phone book. Most don't do private tow aways, or they don't have storage yards, or they're full, with the recent hurricanes all salvage yards are full. So I say fark it, I'll just drive through the yard, its not like it's my yard anyway.
So I leave for the evening (van still in driveway) and pick up Alteridema for the evenings festivities. First stop Walmart for kitty litter as I load the 4 industrial sized tubs into the cart I catch the eye of a woman giggling at me, and picking 3 normal sized ones of her own. I say I'm fostering she says she is too, I say I have 6 she says "Oh" with a kind of less holier than thou bow of the head lowering of the eyes, "I've only got one".
Then pick up Alteridema head to Churchills the smokiest place on earth, chat with some local Arab men (who I ind out own all the best resteraunts in town!), eat some pussy (cake) and other snacky food, convince Alteridema to get a piercing that night and head to Kaye's house.
We get there Alteridema is a champ and doesn't cry or pass out as she gets her naughty bit pierced with 4 of us surrounding her, 1 piercer, 1 apprentice/girlfriend, 2 hand holding support staff. I think I finally got the feeling back in my fingers. Then Ron says he's in the piercing mood, 1 is never enough. So I think heck I've been meaning to get my tonuge re-done but just didn't want to spend the money. So I get in my happy zen spot (herbally induced), patiently wait as Ron explains the procedure to Amanda, then 1, 2, 3 done. No flinching no bleeding NO DROOLING! it's done. Then I zone to Ron's voice, he has the perfect hypnotism voice and feel myself about to zone out, sit on the floor and chill for a bit. Then its back to drop a very giddy and apparently very undersexed Alteridema at her door, drive home (van still in the fucking driveway) and take my benadryl and fall in to a nice warm comfy drug induced coma.
and yes the van is still in the fucking driveway, but I called the landlords, its their problem now.
Got to work, did my usual pretend to work routine. Chatted through IM and e-mails. Then 3 p.m. rolls around and my boss gets in this tizzy cause she has a mediation today and hadn't done her position paper (due a week ago) and a suit prescribes (expires) on Monday if we don't get the petition in and it hadn't been started yet. So she gets in her whirlwind and has every secretary drop what they're doing and work on her shit. Now mind you, she's been here 9-6 everyday. But she'd rather flit around the office and chit chat, or read the newspaper, or talk to her friends instead of actually sitting and doing work. Which then rolls to me and gives me something to do besides surf the internets or do homework all day. Which I don't mind, but I'd rather be productive than bored and stressed at last minute rushes.
So I get home and as I turn to get in my driveway I notice a big ass Mazda MPV van parked across the entrance to my driveway. I look around for the owner, no one in site. I call the police and they since it isn't stolen and it's on private property they can't help. So I proceed to call every tow truck company in the phone book. Most don't do private tow aways, or they don't have storage yards, or they're full, with the recent hurricanes all salvage yards are full. So I say fark it, I'll just drive through the yard, its not like it's my yard anyway.
So I leave for the evening (van still in driveway) and pick up Alteridema for the evenings festivities. First stop Walmart for kitty litter as I load the 4 industrial sized tubs into the cart I catch the eye of a woman giggling at me, and picking 3 normal sized ones of her own. I say I'm fostering she says she is too, I say I have 6 she says "Oh" with a kind of less holier than thou bow of the head lowering of the eyes, "I've only got one".
Then pick up Alteridema head to Churchills the smokiest place on earth, chat with some local Arab men (who I ind out own all the best resteraunts in town!), eat some pussy (cake) and other snacky food, convince Alteridema to get a piercing that night and head to Kaye's house.
We get there Alteridema is a champ and doesn't cry or pass out as she gets her naughty bit pierced with 4 of us surrounding her, 1 piercer, 1 apprentice/girlfriend, 2 hand holding support staff. I think I finally got the feeling back in my fingers. Then Ron says he's in the piercing mood, 1 is never enough. So I think heck I've been meaning to get my tonuge re-done but just didn't want to spend the money. So I get in my happy zen spot (herbally induced), patiently wait as Ron explains the procedure to Amanda, then 1, 2, 3 done. No flinching no bleeding NO DROOLING! it's done. Then I zone to Ron's voice, he has the perfect hypnotism voice and feel myself about to zone out, sit on the floor and chill for a bit. Then its back to drop a very giddy and apparently very undersexed Alteridema at her door, drive home (van still in the fucking driveway) and take my benadryl and fall in to a nice warm comfy drug induced coma.
and yes the van is still in the fucking driveway, but I called the landlords, its their problem now.
VIEW 6 of 6 COMMENTS
How dare you boss get so lazy that you actually have to work.
How's the tongue? Speaking like a normal human, yet?