A few months ago I started seeing a hypnotherapist to try one more time to sort out my sleep problems. I have come to the conclusion that they are 'all in the nut', so it seemed as good a route to go as any.
How much success it's had with my sleep is debatable, but like a car mechanic you go in for a broken tail light and find you need a new fender as well. Numero Uno was stress. More to the point, little things wind me up. Incredibly. It just takes 2 or 3 small things to go wrong in a short period and I'm in heart-attack-at-40 territory in an instant.
So we have been dealing with this, and I feel I've been making genuine progress. It is not the thing that is stressing me, it is me who is choosing to get stressed, or some such gubbins. But sometimes I relapse, and this morning is case in point.
I am now officially 'corporate boy' as I have been issued with my Blackberry and it has one of those fucking annoying flashing lights in the corner that goes off every 5 seconds as if to say 'yes, I am really working...no, I'm still working...you thought I may have switched off in the last 5 seconds but I'm still alive...[repeat ad inf]'. Fucking cunting annoying bollocksing shit.
And can I find out how to switch the piece of crap off? Can I bollocks. Heaven forbid should the cunting INSTRUCTION BOOKLET tell me. The world might come off its axis if the twatting HELP SECTION ON THE CUNTING PHONE will.
Bugger me backwards if I can even find out online. I make the mistake of having the flashing piece of shit on my table when I'm searching, which winds me up even tighter. Tom Jones picks an unfortunate moment to come on the radio. I envisualise myself decking the Welsh Wanker.
So eventually I find out how to do it by trial and error. It is in the "Screen/Keyboard" section of the settings. Call me a pedant if you must, but the shitting light isn't on the screen or keyboard. I am then further fooled because it is under the "LED coverage indicator" bit, whereas the cunting instruction booklet calls it the "Notification LED".
Cunting, wanking bollocks.
Anyway, that is only a lapse. I am now a man of buddhist calm, or will be in about an hour when I have calmed down. But my fight is not yet over, as there is stuff I need to work on. I actually get offended if I see someone ugly. I think this is somewhat of an overreaction! Anyway, this is my catharsis for the morning. I have to rush off as I am meeting my dad in Oxford. He has just retired, the lucky bastard...
How much success it's had with my sleep is debatable, but like a car mechanic you go in for a broken tail light and find you need a new fender as well. Numero Uno was stress. More to the point, little things wind me up. Incredibly. It just takes 2 or 3 small things to go wrong in a short period and I'm in heart-attack-at-40 territory in an instant.
So we have been dealing with this, and I feel I've been making genuine progress. It is not the thing that is stressing me, it is me who is choosing to get stressed, or some such gubbins. But sometimes I relapse, and this morning is case in point.
I am now officially 'corporate boy' as I have been issued with my Blackberry and it has one of those fucking annoying flashing lights in the corner that goes off every 5 seconds as if to say 'yes, I am really working...no, I'm still working...you thought I may have switched off in the last 5 seconds but I'm still alive...[repeat ad inf]'. Fucking cunting annoying bollocksing shit.
And can I find out how to switch the piece of crap off? Can I bollocks. Heaven forbid should the cunting INSTRUCTION BOOKLET tell me. The world might come off its axis if the twatting HELP SECTION ON THE CUNTING PHONE will.
Bugger me backwards if I can even find out online. I make the mistake of having the flashing piece of shit on my table when I'm searching, which winds me up even tighter. Tom Jones picks an unfortunate moment to come on the radio. I envisualise myself decking the Welsh Wanker.
So eventually I find out how to do it by trial and error. It is in the "Screen/Keyboard" section of the settings. Call me a pedant if you must, but the shitting light isn't on the screen or keyboard. I am then further fooled because it is under the "LED coverage indicator" bit, whereas the cunting instruction booklet calls it the "Notification LED".
Cunting, wanking bollocks.
Anyway, that is only a lapse. I am now a man of buddhist calm, or will be in about an hour when I have calmed down. But my fight is not yet over, as there is stuff I need to work on. I actually get offended if I see someone ugly. I think this is somewhat of an overreaction! Anyway, this is my catharsis for the morning. I have to rush off as I am meeting my dad in Oxford. He has just retired, the lucky bastard...